JOLYN CY♥
blessed (:

take me to the sky

8:22 PM I'll leave my window open,

Cleared 179 pw-related files from the computer!!! Cool manz, I win Ivan hahaha. PW is finally finally over for good. OP was quite bad but oh wellz too bad. It's over omg this is so unreal.

Anyway ran ~4km (okay 3.9) on Monday, didn't run 5/7km like in bel's sms but AM PROUD OF THE ANKLE!!! Please give the ankle a pat on the heel (back) :D I'm really quite slow now sigh and after running it started aching again but I will be patient... Monday is like the only day I feel like running on. But no I will make running a hobby, or something, more often! I will run again tmr! 5.2km!!

Watched They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They and it's not often that gossip girl can make you think but this episode made me think. I really don't know how to not care about what others think and not have to prove others wrong because sometimes it gets to you very badly doesn't it.

Watched 2012 with Junru and Jiayan yesterday at Tampines! They were supposed to come over to try my winter coats but 2012 took precedence hahaha. It was sooo long, totally worth the money o.o I still think space ships would have been more feasible though. After the movie when I was going home had to walk through crowds and stand in a crowded bus and I just kept thinking something was going to happen and we will all die, very scary :/ And totally embarrassed myself over eiffel tower and leaning tower of pisa ahhhh.

Then watched My Sister's Keeper with Sihui today after training at cine :D She started crying before me hahahaha. But apparently I cried more. But we got front row seats (yes, how???) and so had to look up a lot so I think most of my tears rolled to the back of my head so I got a really bad headache during the movie :/ It was quite good, the book's still better, but sucks to be a mum...

I like watching movies :D Don't usually have anyone to watch with so don't watch often but yay watched quite abit recently :)

Rowed k2 with susu again today, 11:11! (MAKE A WISH!!!) Our pb's 11:02 now though, last monday I think haha. Then got to row the nelo again and capped so stupidly, sorry Amanda you had to save me twice in a row o.o Seriously I only get to row it when all the pros are on the k4s but oh well yes I guess at least jiaolian believes enough to let me use it.. Then rowed k4 with Amanda, Delia and Ais :) It was quite good apart from the perma left tilt T.T Oh and onto the list of things-not-to-do-early-in-the-morning goes: Running and doing push-ups continuously (Jiaolian's torture today D:), second to taking photos haha. Need to be stronger stronger, and have more stamina/will :/

Oh well my life is so boring.

Oh and hello world, after weighing myself in school today, I have decreased from 40kg again... :( It was a very sad/frustrating/sad moment. I guess I haven't had much appetite recently but stillll D:






















The photo says it's taken in Paris, so it is the Eiffel tower right?

And don't wait for the sky to clear.
It is raining a lot recently.. Having no hopes is better than getting your hopes high and watching them fall smack down I guess, so I will have no hopes. Bye!

7:47 PM Exciting weekend! :) Today was the dragonboating competition@bedok reservoir! Thought we weren't rowing but in the end I had to row and Sihui was drummer haha so coolxzx! Three weeks of training (two for me) for one minute of competition haha, it was all worth it cuz we got 2nd!! Silver medal :0 And free jersey and shirt haha. Such a cool experience :D I'm glad we got to participate in the end actually haha. Lots of photos coming up on fb thanks to Sihui haha.

Yesterday's training was super awesome too! Rowed (the sucky black rudder) ak k2 with susu again, 6km then 2k timing, and we pb-ed!! 11:08 :D You were awesome dear, holding up all my tilting when I tried to control the boat's direction and my splashing bad strokes D: Much loveee. Then rowed k4 with Kalya, Bel and Sihui for 2km which was super wavy oh wellz sorry :/

Then jiaolian swapped me and Yan and I got to row the nelo omg o.o It was so exciting and so scary I was shaking in it at first but was damn coooool. I am sorry to say that I capped in it thrice though D: Once when I was finishing 4km and again right at the start at timing and again at 1k during timing, so no timing D: Ahhh it was very awesome all the same. Then got put into blackie with susu again! Rowed 17km in total haha wow.

K I need to rest/memorise script/hope dinner comes soon. Am so sick now sigh why now Op's in 3 days :( Reminds me of my horribly sick week before RS presentation last year all over again. But I will recover fast and make it through like I diddd. This too will pass. Bye!

10:38 PM Rowed ak k2 with susu today! 4km then timing, 11:12! :) I think my fastest with susu was 11:22 so pb-ed! It was quite cool how our row was smoother when we were talking about random stuff like cable tv channels o.o haha. Think like we're still not very used to each other and I need to correct stuffxzx like my erratic frequency and balance but love you very much susu thank you for today :)

During break went out with DISC to eat zichar at S11! Haha it was so random but Simin and I had craving for cereal prawn D: Okay wait she craved more for mantou and chilli crab sauce haha. But don't eat there I don't think it's very nice, and it's overpriced grr. I am going to make the family go to my fav zichar stall this weekend, satisfy the craving!!!

Haha I'm almost finishing my Post Honey Bunches of Oats with Real (sourrrr) Strawberries!! It was me and Sihui's first step to being healthy, when we went to shop at the bedok NTUC on some random day after training. (You will not know that we bought potato chips that day too, they were on discount!!) Been eating the cereal everyday during lessons and lectures and I'm not sick of them yet actually heh :D I remember how I tried the blueberry one long long time ago and left it there to rot after a while.. Highly recommended :D :D





















The photo is so big :0 Figured out I can make it smaller. This post is so random and I am so sleepy, goodnight!

8:38 PM Got sunburnt from dragonboating today T.T lobster red I swear so scary, I thought I'd be too dark to get sunburnt already heh. It was so tiring but quite fun, "Longer, deeper, harder, PULLER!' puller???? Hahaha funny coxswain. And today I realised coxswain is not the rudder man's name it is his POSITION OMG. Cause there were 2 dragonboats and the 97kg leader called both of the rudder men coxswain, really took me a while to realise :/

Friday went to watch Jennifer's Body with DISC! Didn't understand why the guys were so scared cause it wasn't scary at all, and Cheryl and Simin's screaming hahaha very entertaining company :D Stupid plot but the hovering makes up for everything hahaha. Let's watch 500 days of summer on dvd instead Simin!

Haha and Wednesday was Simin-ignores-us day and she failed by one hour, we are irresistable :) But the class really thought we fell out hahaha like Weijie's sms and the rest secretly asking.

Tuesday went for Fencing IHC anyhow poke poke poke and chiong and we won!!! :D Don't know how we did it but heh free ihc champion shirt and trophy so cool :D :D

OH YES I FORGOT TO MENTION. HELLO WORLD I AM 40KG!!!!!! As of Thursday :D Hopefully I still am 40kg though heh. Here's to 40kg and more kgs to come yay cheerssss. Speaking of 40kg, I can't believe the bet is still on :0 Breakfast lunch and dinner! Don't think it'll really happen though oh wellz, so surprising that you remembered and I forgot anyway haha. And apparently team owes me icecream :D

Was about to whine about how I really want to run again and I realised I forgot to go see the sinseh again shizzzzz. Promised myself to go yesterday ahhh.

Haha sometimes I really feel so unappreciated, then sometimes I feel so guilty because I don't do enough for some other stuff or people. So conflicting, I wish I knew how to balance it out better oh well.

Been thinking a lot this week about canoeing and training. Thinking about why I am here in the first place when clearly the odds are against me hah. And thinking about how to prove my worth and that I am strong enough, because there are so many people who doubt me until sometimes I doubt myself. But kind of decided that well there's only 5 months left and I should make the most out of it and train hard regardless of what happens in the end. Because even if a lot of people don't believe in me I know the girls team does and I cannot let them and myself down :/

Like a petal falling to the ground, a dreamer following his dream.

10:11 PM Today was such a long day.. I almost wanted to say today's Wednesday omg wth, but anyway btw Wednesday is Simin-Ignores-Us day so wish her good luck haha.

Got back promo results today and I guess it was alright.. No problems with the parents because well they don't really care honestly, they don't even know what grades there are. There were good surprises and bad ones, but really thought I could have done much better if I had spent more time studying instead of doing pw (okay, excuse I know but wtv) and dozing off and daydreaming.

But like what I saw on Sujin's twitter, there's more than just promos results to shed tears about. Don't think she means what I am thinking about but yes good friends are retaining :( I didn't realise the consequences for the group of people pulled out of classes today, and stupidly thought they still had a chance of promoting but no they either retain or leave. I really cannot imagine life without the 2 of you.. Someone I can always be with without feeling uncomfortable even though we may not have seen each other in a while, someone I can talk to and wouldn't judge me. I really don't want them to retain they'll be so far away not nextdoor anymore :( I'm sorry me crying made you cry even more :( I should be strong and make you stronger.

Ms Ng said she is not worried about me but I am worried :/ I hope I will be able to cope.. Thinking about this week alone, trainings, tutorials to do etc is already quite scary. 5 more months only.. but I can't imagine how life will be without canoeing 5 months later.

Oh wellz. Training today was pretty cool. Rowed ak with Ais for 4km then we took timing :0 12.40's not really good but satisfied for a first ak timing :) Saturday rowed ak k1, and I realised was my first time in ak k1! Besides the time very very long ago when Weekuang let me play with his ak at the 1k mark for a few seconds haha and besides the sji ak quite long ago too. Then rowed k2 with Eunice and I sat at the back :0 haven't sat backman in a long time and it was totally weird, no space to row the sides so fat D: Sorry I always blog about training it must be so boring but sometimes I feel like I have to put it down somewhere to remember.



















Don't shrug your shoulders.

11:07 PM This is not going to be very exciting or happy D:

Had OP yesterday which was a nightmare I really don't like presenting haha I am monotonous and talk too fast and no gestures yay. Q&A was better though. I think I keep saying this until I feel bad but I am really quite irritated how groupmate cannot answer a simple may wong question whose answer was explicitly written in the report. Really shows how much groupmate has read the report much less done the report.

So much to do though D: Revamp the ppt, group item etc etc so much to think through. And I really think I won't do well for OP oh well...

Then training today was another nightmare. Like who still caps in a tiger k1 manz. Only me. Hah I guess I can always think of excuses like how it's my first time in k1 since training started and I got the high seat boat. But I used to like the high seat boat and honestly my row was so bad.. Jiaolian made us take timing and started out okay but kind of lost it halfway through and almost capped like about 20times I think.. My strokes are so screwed up, sometimes I can feel when my strokes are more correct but I can still cannot pin point where they went wrong. I want to find it backkk. This really sucks :(

After that rowed k4 with bel, delia and ais. It felt quite nice I guess but I thought there was a tilt :/ Then after bathing went for og dinner! Only 9 of us turned up I think haha but was abit stoned but still fun. Went to some place at coronation for dinner and some played bridge then island creamery which made me happier :) And gave the ogls a mugging pack haha Leon complained about the toilet roll but kept playing with it?? Must have been a disturbing sight. Og should really have more outings but I guess it's quite difficult for us to meet up too..

I'm very sorry for being so fierce to Ivan online just now :/ :/ :/ Really hate pw and how people have no brains. I'm sure you want to complete the group item video tmr and you don't even think about who's going to bring video cam, props, clothes etc. Great (y).

K bye I am so grumpyxzx ugh. Why am I so weak.

8:11 PM I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here;

Crashed dragonboating at Bedok reservoir with Sihui on Sunday! Cause weeki didn't have enough people for training and we live so near hee hee :D Was quite a cool experience!! Even though it was really crazy tiring and water just keeps splashing and blinding my eyes, contacts felt so insecure. And am quite sorry cause there were times when I really wasn't using a lot of strength... but I insist that at least I am not very heavy so less drag!!! (This remind me of bio hahaha) Then over lunch Ben started some speculation over my tshirt cause apparently strawberry shortcake has sick connotations but I will not find out what it is cause I still like the shirt and still want to wear the shirt grr. Sihui and I so innocent (A).

Oh weighed myself at the gym today and I AM NOW 39.80 KG!!!! So close!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually sometimes I secretly think that it will be quite weird when I finally hit 40kg even though I really really want to and when I see myself in the gym mirror I feel a strong urge to stretch my reflection horizontally (not that I don't want to grow vertically haha). I know a few kgs don't really make much difference but sometimes it feels like when I hit 40kg I won't be me anymore like it won't feel like myself does that make sense??

OP dry run tomorrow D: I think I really cannot memo the script in time o.o and the ppt can be better but oh wellz. Hope may wong doesn't blast us too badly though, or like swop our parts?? Will just die if she does that. Still got group item to do zzzzzzzz.

Need to find the foot massager!!! My feet plus ankle feels like it needs to be moulded properly. Been trying to find the foor massager for daysss.

I shall continue the hunt bye!

Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.