JOLYN'S

2011-06-28T01:12:00.003+08:00

If I post on the blog it is always not a good thing...

I really wish I knew what I'm doing with my life. These few months will be a huge change, a new chapter but I really feel so lost. I don't know how I'm going to spend my remaining month before uni starts, how life in uni will be like, what I'll join in uni, if I'll regret not applying for hall, or even regret studying accountancy and choosing nus..

And I'm worried for us :( I don't know when you're coming back and how much time we'll have for each other.. Everything's going to be so different and difficult but know that I love you so much ♥

Then again it's pointless to think about all these, but they just bring me down :( o well..

2011-04-13T23:20:00.002+08:00

Hahaha previous post was post number 666 wow :o

Anyway just felt like motivating myself so.... Get through this week and rule the world!!!! Even though now I have to survive without my iphone which will definitely be a huge challenge sigh. No contacts/checking bus/interview prep on long travel journeys/music/email/whatsapp/twitter/fb/distracting games oh my :'( AND ALL MY STUFF ON MY PHONE omg suddenly remembered :'( :'(

I CAN DO THIS.

2011-04-08T00:53:00.002+08:00

Pretty please
I know it's a drag
wipe your eyes and put up your head
I wish you could be happy instead
There's nothing else I can do
But love you the best that I can

Darling
you 're hiding in the closet once again,
start smiling. :)

1 month and 1 day to Avril Lavigne's concert :D

Prev post's quote is applying again though, I'm so tired of the way the world works :(

2011-03-01T23:37:00.003+08:00

Yay Avril Lavigne :)

It never crossed my mind
That there would be a time
For us to say goodbye
What a big surprise :(

Post Created Feb 13, 2011 9:27:12 PM

2011-02-13T21:27:00.001+08:00

Finally found my fav blue dress after more than half a year in mum's huge pile of unironed clothes and tried to iron it and burnt a hole in it so I have nothing presentable to wear to attachment tmr and I am in tears now because mum doesn't give a shit?? !!!!!!! UGH

2011-02-03T02:10:00.004+08:00

Love love loved Burlesque! Really glad I managed to see it in the cinema, thank you :) :)

2011-01-17T02:17:00.002+08:00

All I know is I don't know
How to be something you miss

I really don't want to think or feel anything anymore :( I must be a really horrible person... What is wrong with me!!! Maybe it's a good thing that I distance myself from people after all.

Going to Hong Kong tmr, hope it will be fun.. :)

2011-01-04T18:54:00.003+08:00

Happy new year, am back from Europe :)

So here I am abit smelly after my first run since the traumatising run, after finding and reading the letters and cards I have received in the past 2 years in an attempt to clear the mess on my table..

And I really miss the team... Reading those notes made me remember all the little things we've been through together, trainings, dinners, showering, outings and more painfully they made me realise how different things are between us now. This probably is somewhat inevitable, but I really wish... And I can't help but to keep wondering if I was to blame for this outcome.. But I really didn't know what to do. I wish that I was still important to you and I wish that you are still there for me but I know you aren't anymore.

I wish I could make that gap disappear again. I ♥ you team, really miss you :'(

2010-12-16T22:06:00.002+08:00

Watched Hello Stranger with bestie today! It was funny definitely, touching and so intriguing cause it made me recall many things..

Anyway flying off tmr to Europe to visit the cousin and have fun :) Hope we get to see snow :) Will miss everyone and miss Christmas and New year countdown but I don't think I would be celebrating with anybody anywayyy. Bye bye, I hope it will be a great trip!

Post Created Dec 6, 2010 1:38:35 PM

2010-12-06T13:38:00.001+08:00

Yesterday's half marathon was probably one of the biggest scariest moments of my life.. Went to run with Eunice, Amanda and Ais! At first everything was pretty alright we even managed to run all the way for like 15km which is amazing considering how little we've trained haha. Then about one km plus before the finish line I puked but I really wanted to finish it who wouldn't right?? So the first aid person let me go and it really took a lot a lot of effort for me to finish it :|

After that I started puking again I think it was my breakfast and all the water and 100plus I've drank.. It felt so horrible.. So I was put onto a wheelchair and brought into the medical tent and they wanted to give mr a drip but I refuses because I thought I would feel better after resting for abit so they let me sit and drink a can of 100plus. The rest were chased out of the tent because it was too crowded but they managed to borrow a phone for me to call my parents. But I couldn't remember my mum's or my house's number no matter how hard I tried to think.. I could only remember daddy's number cause I just wrote it under my emergency contact before the race but his phone was switched off. The more I tried to remember I realized I couldn't remember much of the day or the past few days and I was super scared I kept trying to find some memory in my head I could hold on to like what time I woke up what I was supposed to do . Then I realized I was shivering and couldn't really feel anything, I was numb all over and even when I bit my lips or cheek it didn't feel right. I really felt so so lost and dumb.. Eventually I managed to get a doctor's attention and I was put on a drip. They poked both my arms to try to get a vein D: I was lying there still trying very hard to recall anything and I wanted to hold back but I still cried in the end and kept shaking uncontrollably. But the doctor was very nice she kept reassuring me that my memory loss was only short term and temporary and after the drip I would be able to remember better. Another doctor came to comfort me and I felt so much better.. About 3/4 through the drip mummy's number just popped into my head and the doctor helped me to call her and explained my condition to her. I didn't know what to say to mummy but I just felt more reassured after hearing her voice. When the drip was finally finished I still felt giddy so I was made to sit for abit. I ended up puking out the 100plus that I drank before the drip and I puked the rest of it in Ais's car but after that I was fine thank goodness.. It was such a scary experience omg ><

Post Created Nov 8, 2010 8:20:22 PM

2010-11-08T20:20:00.001+08:00

Close to 12 hours at starbucks today :0 amazed at my determination today and the fact that I wasn't chased out wow and my free cake!!! Hahaha I think the new cute boy is my lucky star.
Quite scared now I always feel the heat when it's too late sigh hope for the best... Good luck everyone!!

2010-10-10T12:38:00.001+08:00

10.10.10
I hope today will be the last day I'm a fool.. Because you don't care anymore.

2010-09-24T00:38:00.003+08:00

Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?
Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone
Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?

Blogging from the iPad haha.. Prelims are almost over! But I suddenly think that mcqs are going to be the worst.. And double mcqs D: and there's still A levels.. But I'm not burning out I think haha so that's good in a way I guess.

Anyway it's been good studying with Auntie quite a few times and with auntie the mountain tortoise hahaha, and Qinying twice! And Jeremy, and Dong! Oh and Teadot really only allows studying at the weird ass table now D: but Starbucks doesn't chase me away anymore so I am a happy girl :D even though I study alone most of the time it is kind of a nice routine now, like I'll feel happy waking up and going to Starbucks. But it's also quite sad, I crave many many food that I cannot eat cause I am alone :/ oh well. But it takes mummy less effort to wake me up in the morning now I think this is the best result!!

Okay this is quite a lame post. Oh today I realized iTunes genius is quite cool it picks my fav songs! Or maybe it's because I like the same type of songs..

I've been thinking a lot again, and they're not really happy thoughts.. Sometimes it makes me feel better to sort out my thoughts and decide how I should feel or what I should do but it's so difficult.. Okay whatever..

Have you ever wished for an endless night?
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself
Will it ever get better than tonight? Tonight

2010-08-26T22:45:00.003+08:00

Jumped in and jumped out again. I was doing so well.. And the other too I realise.. I thought I kept it all away already.

Went back for training on saturday!!!! I was so scared it'll rain but luckily it only drizzled :D And it was a good day to go back cuz jiaolian was so free and bored without sji hahaha but he didn't let me row C again :( he just laughed when I asked :( But rowed k2 with Weekuang haha cuz no more boats and we capped once heh but we took 2 2k timings with the j1s!! Kind of died but we weren't last okay but that's quite a bad thing to say.. And after that jiaolian let me row nelo!!! And I capped too but after that it was okay :D Miss rowing so so much.. And I feel quite bad to the juniors cause I didn't really help them with anything.. but I will next time I go down!! Sorry dears D:

Then somewhere later in the day I got food poisoning/stomach flu haha but didn't see the doctor until like 11pm and it was soo ex.. It was such a horrible experience I shall not describe haha yucks. But it was so funny like I took this "pre-medicine" which is supposed to stop me from throwing up my medicines and 2 minutes later I threw up D: I had so many medicines to take and they were all so complicated like I had to dissolve one med in the little spoon and dissolve another med in half a cup?? Okay but I am much better now thank goodness.

And today I played basketball!!! After such a long time... And I realise I really suck at it now :( Especially cause I have no more muscles no more strength... Didn't really realise I degenerated so much until today sigh. I don't even have strength to shoot from the free throw line anymore!! Hardly. I am very sad sigh why like that.

Okay but guess studying is more urgent. Oh well.

Thanks to Sihui I just did some personality test, I think I've done something like it before but anyway it is so true haha I am an ISFJ heh.

Where do I turn when we weren't so close

2010-08-16T23:10:00.004+08:00

I think sadly it is true for unhappiness too. But happiness is my new habit!

I have no time!!! A little late to realise.. Okay buck up buck up. Please.

It's quiet,
it's calm now,
I'm waiting,
to fall down.

2010-08-02T22:28:00.004+08:00

I realise I've been drinking quite crappy teas at Teadot hahaha I should have researched earlier instead of experimenting!! D: But yesterday's Perfect Match was really good! :) :) And I have planned what I want to drink for the next few visits already hehe. Totally miss Starbucks' Dark Mocha Frap but they will chase me out unless I miraculously wake up early and go on weekend morningss :(

This is super random but I suddenly remembered and want to remember foreverr that I am so so so touched that Jeremy and Qitian still wears the bands I gave them during Nats around their ankles!! Heh though Jeremy's one is fading in colour D: And accidentally saw Qitian's when I went to play basketball at Hwach last last wed :D which was super fun!!! Sigh used to see them like a few times a week during trainings but not anymore.. :( Okay then again I should stop living in the past. Wake up. Study.

Oh wellz. Looking forward to thursday team dinner team dinner hope it will be good.

We learn to build another wall till it falls.

2010-07-15T23:51:00.002+08:00

I wanted to declare today that maybe I could get used to being alone after all then a few hours later I lost all of it and started missing the team again. But the feeling of being together with the team is so different now, like how our team dinner didn't really feel much like one..

Hope I don't get sick of me time. But me time is expensive sigh.

2010-07-14T21:30:00.000+08:00

2010-07-05T22:32:00.002+08:00

June holidays are over, CT2's over and the real long weekend holiday's over too :/ Time flies. I wish I did more, studied more but I know I wouldn't have oh well. Someone please knock some sense into me!!

And I shouldn't have let myself get distracted like that must be a holiday thing as usual.. I thought I wouldn't be susceptible already D:

Holding on tightly, just can't let it go
Just trying to play my role, slowly disappear, oh
But all these days, they feel like they're the same
Just different faces, different names, get me out of here

2010-06-12T00:02:00.005+08:00

I had the best 12 hours spending my birthday :) Downloading Qitian's mixtape into my computer now :)

Started off at 11pm with a super last minute supper/countdown at Macs haha zomg. I almost didn't make it! Almost counted down with the bus driver who was driving like a snail seriously.. But I did! Happy happy meal and cheesecake and lots of catching up and talking for almost 3 hours :D Then walked home and fell prey to the attack by a mango! Glad I avoided my mango. It was such a random but awesome first few hours.. and I really treasured it thank you :)

Then after 3 hours of sleep, I was preparing to go to school and I found ccy, lester and jon outside my house!! They got me this set of like coming-of-age clothes haha thank you guys do you know how surprised I was?? Sorry you guys had to wake up so so early :/ And I think jon's shutter-spamming paid off, there are some great great photos :D Love you all forever :) :)

Then watched karate kid at Lido! I think it was damn good even though people told me after that that the reviews sucked... Hello I almost cried like..3times D: Thank you for planning my day and spending it with me :D And for the alcoholic chocolates haha and the notes and the jersey :) Sorry you had so little sleep too D:

I thought I went home a happy girl but ended up crying on the way home, yes again :/ But I think it was more because I was really touched by what my friends did for me.. Thank you so much all of you, you really really made my day :)

And thank you friends for you smses and email and fb wishes :) I was quite weirded out by how many fb wishes I got but thank you for the thoughts :)

And I'm really really sorry I overslept and didn't make it for the movie today team.. :(

Realised how difficult it is to differentiate who is important to you and not, and whether someone thinks you're important or not.. It's all so confusing.

♥♥♥
No photos of the rest of the day, but I will remember it.

2010-06-09T00:55:00.002+08:00

Survived famine camp!

Visited Jairus again today and he is doing much much better than the last time I saw him, speedy recover :) He is really really strong..

Then went for Aish's chalet which ended with a celebration for me and twin haha thank you team :) And for the hot pink bag too haha omg can't believe they bought it just to laugh at my expression. And the card too :) Everyone loves unglam photos haha.. And thank you twin for the early present :)

Haha I think I've cried at every present I've got so far.. Minus the pink bag. Anyway thank you aunties for the scrapbook and for the mixtape Qitian :) It's really sweet haha okay shall just say it in my reply letter.

But anyway today it finally dawned upon me that I don't know how to spend my birthday haha.. I can't spend it with my family because mei's going for camp so we're celebrating early/late. Kbox got postponed.. And not celebrating with the team like I wanted to.. I think maybe people think I'm spending it with someone else, or no one really cares to be free or want to spend it with me. I really wanted to just watch a movie or something because so many movies open on the 10th. Haha I really don't know who to spend it with. And I don't feel like being stupid like last year again. Maybe my nightmare of spending the day studying will really come true haha sigh.

I know I want to be less dependent and reliant but really I don't think I will be able to take it at times like this. I don't think birthday should be a me day :(

Didn't want to blog about it but I guess I really couldn't help it.. Hope no one sees this in time anyway. I don't want sympathy on my birthday..

I wonder when I stopped counting down. Haha this post sounds like a lot of crap.

This sucks..

2010-05-31T01:38:00.002+08:00

Lesson learnt about the unpredictability of life today, and how fragile it is...

Will pray very hard, please get well.

2010-05-15T00:28:00.004+08:00

Now I see myself through different eyes, it's no surprise
Being alone will make you realize
when it's over, all in love's fair

Hopes for my own good that you will never jump back into my life again, even though secretly I want you to quite badly, sigh I am very weird..

Okay enough of this. And I should stop doing stupid things. And I believe time will tuck all these neatly away because I am just being childish now. What is wrong with me.

2010-04-29T23:39:00.002+08:00

The weeks have been good!

Happy super belated birthday Cheryl and Xinyuan!!

So there was the adventure race which was a totally new experience for me! Kind of glad I went for it after all despite the super huge bruise I got from practising skating.. I would go again, with people I know better haha.. And if there's no swimming involved sigh.

And rowing C1 shanghai on Monday during training!!!!!! Haha was rowing with Eunice then Karen then swopped with Eunice because she had nothing to row and rowed the C1!! So surprised that jiaolian agreed to let me row haha I guess he must have been really bored.. But damn cooooool I rowed like one tiny round around the pontoon :D :D And I tried both sides hahaha. And then a hiccup because of a sad discovery that I will resolve!!

Tuesday Kelly Clarkson concert with Cheryl! :D :D :D Love love love love loved it. Even though kind of O.O after looking at the close up photos of her during the concert thanks to dong... But she is awesome! Totally worth it even though she didn't sing the emo songs I like haha but she sang Save You omg!!! And she loves Save You :) She even sang her Breakaway album songs and all the high high songs and then the lights will bounce and bounce everywhere!! So happy that I chanced upon and loved the All I Ever Wanted album and she decided to do album tour and that Cheryl is fan too!!

But no Jay Chou concert for me sigh no tickets......

We can pretend nothing's changed,
Pretend it's all the same, and there will be no pain tonight.

I secretly think that if I had asked/known earlier, maybe I would have let go faster.. It's been a little over a year now.. Now I just feel stupid what is wrong with me haha. How am I going to do this hm.

Just a time to tear down old walls
I wish someone would save me. Oh well.

2010-04-18T22:03:00.003+08:00

It's been a week past nats and I really really miss canoeing :( Miss training, seeing everyone everyday, the feeling.. It's so bad I cannot even bring myself to do work even though I have a lot of time and so much work to do :/ All I do is stone, waste time and stone.

I realised only today that Jay Chou's having concert :( I fail. And I want to go but I don't know if I should/who to go with and Friday's tickets will start selling on Thursday D:

And I forgot to thank classmates especially DISC for their support during nats :D Simin for updating me about school everyday and Ivan for collecting homework for me and for attempting to come down to support on finals haha. And Cheryl did so well for track!!

Ah well. Pick yourself up!! And let go.

2010-04-11T17:50:00.004+08:00

So this is the end of our journey..

4 days were all we had to prove ourselves and I guess we expected and wanted so much more but I'm sure we did our best. It's just that our best wasn't enough and the others were better..

Okay I can foresee my english is going to suck (I can't believe both Qitian and TCH told me that my english sucks grr..) but I will press on..!

So after losing k2 heats on day1 I was really upset.. Upset with myself because I knew we could qualify and it didn't feel like I was giving it my everything at all.. But after a while kind of dawned upon me that we wouldn't have made it very far, considering the competition, all the pro pairs.. Still it was really painful to know that there won't be a race on Thursday, and that that was my last race with Eunice. But baby you are awesome and it felt like the smoothest and most stable row we ever had :)

Then on day2 was k4 500m. We knew we could do it and we did it, and we decided to shoot for the sky, to get first on finals.

Day3 I finally got to watch and support :D And cried okay actually I realised I think I cried everyday... I think twin (AMANDA) said that it's weird how I can cry for everyone's races like Eunice.. and Junru and Ais.. and k4 1000m.. But idk it's really intense and emotional to see them row their hardest..

Day4 we brought back the silver medal. It really felt so close to SA but I guess we gave them a good fight. The medal belongs to the whole team, guys too, because we couldn't have done it without all the strength and support you all gave.. I love you Bel, Susu, Yan :)

Haha and I have to mention awesome steamboat buffet at Zhenfa (SPAM CLAMS SPAM PRAWNS :D) and actually I didn't feel like I ate enough.. And movie after that with the bestest bestest ending line ever!

I suddenly realise we don't have a full canoeing photo oh well.. And that reminds me of more unhappy thoughts so never mind..

So many people to thank.. Girls team first :)

Bel for all your pep talks, encouragement, crushing hugs and because you're so strong and train so hard you inspire us to be stronger and train harder. Susu, I'll never forget when we were still partners and rowed together, you give me strength and watch my strokes and look after me all the time. Sihui for our countless bus rides together, and all the canoeing/emo/little stuff that we talk about. Thank you for always being there and I'm sorry for the times I made you upset :( Yan for being my mama :) And all the little antics that we do together. Eunice for believing in us and pushing so hard every timing every race. Twin :) for all the love you've given me that made me strong. Junru for always telling me it's okay, nevermind haha you make me take things easier. Ais for always being so cheerful and smiling no matter what, you make me smile :D Delia your determination gives us motivation :)

Guys team now.. especially those who always call me biceps/mock my biceps D: but in a warped-up way, I guess I'd rather be mocked like that than have people not believing that I am strong enough to row. So at least I know that you guys believe in me, somehow :) And thank you for all your encouragements :) We must continue having girls+guys dinners together!! :( Thank you Wei rong and Ben yong and k4 guys and Hansheng for being great support, and thank you Wee kuang for always being concerned about the girls' team :) And thank you Dong for tolerating my nonsense like swopping good luck slippers with me :D

Qitian, for being the sunshine in my life :) you always bully me but I still love you :) a lot a lot a lot! I hope you know that..

Hwachong girls team for being so nice and friendly :D

Jeremy, almost-decade-old-friend and strongest guy I know, for listening to me rant, and all your preaching, I've really learnt a lot from you.

I have so much more to say but I shall end here.. Am damn proud of all of us and I really really hope we doesn't end here. I want more memories..

Monga means canoe. AHHHH can't get over it hahahaha.

2010-04-04T00:06:00.003+08:00

She's ripping wings off of butterflies.

Last training today.. Some part inside me wishes for more time to be prepared and recover, more trainings, more strength, and wishes for a miracle and that everything will go right, cause there's always this nagging thought that I'll screw up.. But I guess there's no such thing as having enough time since humans will always want more.. And wishes don't come true. I'll have to throw the thoughts away and just believe.. Leap of faith leap of faith!

2 days..

2010-03-31T23:16:00.003+08:00

Hehe shall post about NJCC before Nationals come..

My races were on the second day (Sunday) and I raced 6 races in total!!!! 3 k4 and 3 k2 500m, super scary and tiring but damn exciting at the same time :D :D 3rd for k4 and nothing for k2 but at least we got into finals :) Yay us Eunice, Bel, Susu, Yan!! :D I think everyone raced hard and rowed hard so good job too :) Quite sad that after racing so much I have ZERO photos of any finishing or any boats at all, so sad.... Think it was because it rained during my races :( But the rain delayed the races so I got more time to rest too anyway I guess..

Now we're at Bedok reservoir and the water's really quite heavy... And Bedok's lightning warnings' damn screwed up, past 2 days of rowing were not good too.. But we can do this let's do this!!!

2010-03-21T00:51:00.001+08:00

CTsssssssssssss ahhh zomgbbq I have never felt this unprepared for exams.

NJCC done, Nationals in 2 weeks gogogogogogo!!

2010-03-07T19:43:00.002+08:00

If you find that you've been settling for a world of gray;

It's now 1 month minus 1 day to nationals.. And less than one week to NJCC :/ And 2weeks to CTs ahhh I think I'm gna fail everything.

Ended up missing 3 trainings only luckily, but this week was quite crazy I've had really stupid thoughts about giving up but that's all pushed away now.. Must get used to all 3 of them different strokes hmm.

And I think I accidentally offended/made someone angry now I don't know what to do D: D: So much for trying to make someone feel better I fail... Ahh I'm sorry for not being helpful :( Cheer up friend..

Am consistently 40kg now!!! Quite happy about it :) :) And 5 pullups now!!!! But haven't tried in a long time though. I think it's quite good to go home so late everyday cause I realise I snack almost all the time on weekends... On bad food like cny goodies zomg. But tuition on weekday nights are very bad because I always end up eating dinner at like 10/11pm...
See when I finallyblog, I forget the things I wanted to say, oh well byebye.

2010-02-27T01:42:00.003+08:00

I haven't been online since CNY eve which was like 2 weeks ago!! Hahaha amazing man. But glad I made the choice to sleep/do some work instead of coming online everyday. And I am finally online, because I fell prey to the flu bug :(

Been sick from Tuesday but finally went to see the doctor today afternoon. He's making me not train for 1 week, he even wrote on my mc 'excused from canoeing x1week' he is so mean!!! I know it is for my own good and this is going to sound crazy but I really really felt like crying when he told me not to train. I don't think anyone understands how I feel because so far people I've told have had little reaction but not training for one week scares me a lot.. But hopefully I can recover fast, and maybe go row without timings or something :( With my manly voice I am truly manly now but I want to get well go away flu.

Chinese new year was full of visiting I think after skipping Cny by going to Hongkong last year I forgot how vistings were like, many, scary and boring. But some were quite fun I guess haha like visiting Wee and our team's yusheng plus dinner!! But no girls team reunion dinner in the end :( Everyone's first reaction this Cny was to ask me why I am so dark and only one person thought I looked better like this so thankyou D:

Trainings have been alright. I think Junru's my new partner now but I'm rowing with Eunice for NJCC cause Jun's overaged haha. Oh well am in conflicting feelings when it comes to recent rows and haven't really been rowing k4 in a while. And I can't row tmr or next week ahh.

Oh it's taking so long i could be wrong, i could be ready.

2010-02-08T23:06:00.003+08:00

I just had an urge to say that.. I guess I am the type of person who needs to be told to try and do things and yes I probably wouldn't have joined canoeing at all if not for people like Shiyin and Xinyuan who went trials and clinic with me, and Jeremy and Qitian for encouraging me to join, but I am in canoeing already and I'm really giving it everything I've got. I guess I've doubted myself several times and obviously people are highly skeptical about me but I really don't want to care about that and I want to do this. I really really want to do this.

I know some people believe in me so thank you..

Today is really full of someone day, I thought 3 strikes was bad enough but 5 is really horrible.. I am quite mixed up now, feeling guilty but angry too.

And I guess now is the period where at some point everyone has some insecurities, some lost of hope, some thoughts of giving up but we've come so far, I think we should try to do justice to all that we've put in, make our efforts worth it and really have no regrets.. I am here for you friends :(

Somehow, Save You by Kelly Clarkson fits into most of how I feel tonight.

Sigh cannot do work at all today. All I did was colour my new timetable. This is very very bad.

2010-02-07T21:46:00.004+08:00

It's exactly 2 months minus 1 day to nats.. Just realised a few days ago that nats are on 6-9th april not 19-22... No wonder Jeremy told me 60days the other time and Qitian told me 9 weeks D: I was counting and counting and couldn't geddit D: D: But yes I won't be stressed over it and I will use it as motivation.. thank you for giving me strength friends :)

My weight dropped from 40kg again but I shall not be bothered about it. Why does it keep fluctuating I want my breakfast lunch dinner and icecream etc etc!!!

Don't really remember what happened this week.. :( I cannot let my weeks pass like thatt. Went shopping with Amanda and Sihui at Tampines yesterday after training though and Sihui finally bought cny clothes! :) And had reunion dinner with mum's side but it was so boring.. Wasn't at the younger people table but I don't think I would have much to say to them :( And everyone's first comment when they saw me was "why are you so dark??" and I explained myself at least thrice.. Oh wellz.

Can't wait for the long weekend! I think.

I realised that you weren't a part of my life haha why am I so hung up I feel childish.

2010-01-30T20:55:00.004+08:00

Let go let go.

Happy birthday Leonard, Yanling and Hongkai!!

Trained everyday this week again super tiring but time is really running out it's quite scary..

Today was good water and happy day for almost everyone I think :) Pb-ed 10.41 with Susu and 9.30 with Bel, Susu and Yan :) :) Then J1s came for water clinic and I was mostly entertaining them while the rest trained.. so weird. But hope they had fun! Had 6hours of SOT crash course and I almost died but coffee saved me a little. Want to die thinking about the 6hours more tomorrow omg. Plus 12 days of Simin consecutively hahaha.

Anyway I am 40kg!!!! As of yesterday during gym when I weighed myself.. Yay! :D :D :D And did 2 pullups during PE on afternoon I think...... Like I didn't really realise when I did it but I did!?! Quite shocked but so exciting! But pullups are useless oh wellz. Strokes are weird again and forearm's getting worse don't know why.. It was really bad on Wednesday I couldn't even lift the boat back and it was just numb no feeling.. But thank you Mr Koh, jiaolian and girls for helping me loosen it :/

Sigh I hope next weekend I will be more free otherwise I will never ever catch up with schoolwork D:

2010-01-25T23:03:00.002+08:00

Another week has passed and I'm lagging behind.. D: Last week was training from Monday to Friday (Y). SATs on Saturday was kind of bad oh wellz try again maybe. I don't even know if I can apply to US.

Anyway happy belated meimei and susu and xinen and JAY CHOU and geri :D

After SATs met up with the girls after training and we ate Sakae buffet! :D Didn't eat a lot though think we weren't hungry already boo, another time!! Then went shopping at Orchard and Xiaoli bought lots of cool clothes so jealous but so happy for you cause they were all totally you!

Went for Leonard's 18th party yesterday which was alrighttt I guess. Didn't know the people there so thank goodness for company!!! (Jeremy, Hongkai, Ccy, Lester, Travis, Esmond) Hope Leonard liked the shoes we got him hehe, succcessful birthday present no.1 this year D: After shopping for hours after training on Wed with Jeremy and looking like weirdos walking in and out of shops several times and us finding a very expensive (139buckx omg) but super super cool cool cool adidas jacket. I wanttttt. So we stole food and played cards and mahjiong and pool and table soccer!!! And everyone was made to down a shot of 80% Bicardi or sthg, on Leo's order, but luckily I didn't :/ Thank you friends for offering to drink for me/washing it down the sink for me :D Then we missed the last bus and ended up walking out the long ulu road and still couldn't get any cab so mummy and daddy came to fetch us and we squeezed 7 of us in the back of the car AWESOME MANZ. Especially since all of them are so tall and big. Kind of wasted the weekend but oh wellz.

Oh oh oh hello pull up club!!! :D :D :D Did 1 pull up on Wednesday and again today.. Think it was counted actually I'm not sure :( But okay shall work harder to make it count!!! And increase from 1!!! Must beat Auntie hehe :D Oh and must learn to jump high so Susu won't have to carry me up all the time sorry Su :/ I don't know why I am scared of jumping again.

Haha I am not writing about trainings cause it's all recorded in my book now.. But good job today powerbuffgirls :) Really wish that nothing will happen to us though.. hm. Note to self to bring a cap someday, save my eyes from all the splash.

If I stop thinking too much and if you slowly disappear from my life maybe it won't ache that bad. I don't even know why I feel this much.

Should be doing work sigh. Goodnight.

2010-01-16T21:41:00.003+08:00

Today the hairdresser got what she wanted and cut bangs for me O.O Haha was only considering it but she had such a big reaction and convinced me, "I've been wanting to cut bangs for you for a long time!!" And yeah she has always been harping on it now that I think about it. She's super nice though, she cut it bit by bit so I won't be too scared. Haven't changed my hair since sec2 hahaha I think/hope I look okish/normal but don't think I'll keep it for long haha, when it grow out I want to look like my old self again! But quite good this will hopefully let my bald spots recover~ And if the bangs are horrible just have to hairband it heh.

Trainings have still not been good for me hmm. But will try harder~

There's so much homework!!! And after doing my first practice paper with Amanda today, realise that I am more or less dead for SATs.. Mummy made me take it but she should have made me study for it too D:

And so many birthdays coming up! Daddy's birthday tmr, then Meimei and Susu and Jay Chou's on Monday!!! Etc etc etc... Jan and Feb is major money spending time and I am already broke :/

Happy belated Shiyin and Weirong and Yenyen! :)

2010-01-11T22:13:00.003+08:00

First day of school and horrible training..

Thank you Simin for the box full of love :) I still owe you birthday present and card :( And Daniel for the disney charm haha. Hi friends go buy eXDee merchandise! Missed DISC but we'll probably end up sick of each other in due course haha.

Training today was so bad.. we were supposed to have 3 consecutive 2k timings but me and Ais capped all 3 timings.. And I could totally feel it, it was my fault. I don't know if it's really just because of the painful stomach/abs. The worst part was that after our first cap, jiaolian still changed us into blackie and like knowing how much he believed we were soulmates and all I really felt like I disappointed Ais and jiaolian. It's a different kind of sucky when you pull someone down with you, it's not just a bad row. And I hate swimming and capping so much.

But a lot of us had a sucky day today.. some probably worse than this so I'm sorry I cried but I tried to hold it in.. all of you brave people :( So cheer up loves. At least we look happyish in the photos (yes what a day to have someone take our training photos) and at least he's a sexist photographer too.

And thank you for tolerating my nonsense loves, and being nice to me even though you were all upset too..

2010-01-09T23:15:00.003+08:00

Shall blog about trainings otherwise I will forget soon, this is like my mini log hehe.

Wednesday was half-team day cause everyone else was sick D: but they all came back today, except Ais!! I was backman all the way on Wed manxzx damn cool :) :) :) Weird things happen when I sit backman..
1) Irritatingly hitting the sides of the boat (BUT I THINK I AM GETTING BETTER)(at not hitting it!!)
2) My feet will still move about as if I am ruddering D:
3) I get splashed and blinded a lot D: D:
4) There is so much space!!
5) OH OH OH I remember now! If you look at our boat from the front, you'll probably not see me at all hehe :D
I forgot what else I wanted to say it just popped out of my head.. Anyway I think I am slowly discovering myself in the backman seat, not that I want to because it is jiaolian who plops me there, but I kind of have to accept it haha. It seems a little difficult since I've almost always been frontman but backman is quite cool I like following and synchroing :D

So Wednes-backman-day 11:18 k2 with Sihui, 11:03 k2 with Ais! It was pb for Ais yayy :) After water we did pullups and medicine balls which made me get butt burns D: Damn pain when I sit down D: Bel has them too D: D: Oh and jiaolian was super excited about me and Ais's pairing because apparently we are very light and we drift on the water.. And he went on telling us about our events but you never know when he changes his mind.

Today was 11:02 and then 11:32 with Susu consecutively. Sorry susu I kept slipping/slowing down, my grip was really bad :( But thank goodness jiaolian helped me change my grip again. (and now I owe Junyong two grips!!) Got the nelo! (Cause, yes, as usual girls and guys k4 were out heh.) But I capped during timing oh wellz. After that k4 with Yan, Bel and Susu and guess whutttt I WAS BACKMAN :D 9.58!

Then we did 100 declined/vertical situps(??) and the back was very painful more painful than the abs :( And pullups and we attempted to do the windscreen wipers thing but failed terribly why so difficult D: Susu even helped me to hook my legs up hahaha and she carried me up to the bar so many times thank you love!!!

Oh and the new blogskin on girl's blog is so pretty!!!!!! Did you do it Susu omg so nice!!

Must learn to stop having the tiniest flickers of hope. Oh well school is starting in 2 days..

2010-01-05T00:54:00.004+08:00

Happy new year friends :) Thinking about 2010 is really scary, it will really be such a tough and trying year, I just hope we all have enough strength to pull through the year and make it a good year :/ Thinking about turning 18 is another weird thought, kind of explains why movies/songs are always about staying seventeen forever haha.

Anyway shall just update first. So on the 28th we had canoeing batch outing to watch Sherlock Holmes! Only 10 of us made it but I think it turned out alright somehow :) Sherlock Holmes was really full of old men sorry :( but it was pretty cool even though well you know those devices cannot exist o.o

Most of new year's eve was spent at Boon lay countdown stoning until the usual mad rush doing hair and makeup. I got a weird outfit again D: this time with 6m long sleeves (Y) Someone said I looked like a highlighter, someone said I looked malay oh wellz. It was the scariest/craziest runway I've done because the last 10minutes right before the show my hair was not touched, there was an extra piece of cloth to pin on my outfit and no one knew how except for the teacher and while being pinned I was suddenly told that I have to learn to gather my sleeves and throw them out on stage D: Definitely worst walk ever but who cares it is over!! Thank you vvm to my nice pretty partner Kelly, and Sungming for saving me otherwise I would have been lost in Boon lay. Rest of the night was spent with the family :)

Yesterday went to Amanda's house to study with Sihui and Yan! Her house is amazingggg there are stacks and stacks of chocolate and Haagen Dazs in the fridge!! Thank you for lending me your SAT book to read dear :D And the pizzaaaa. We played I have never... and I have ever... and Sihui lost both! Thus making herself the most happening yet the no lifer amongst us hahaha. Then we played hearts (This holiday is very rewarding I learnt to play bridge and hearts proficiently! :D) and Yan pwned us by shooting the moon at the last round killing all of us at the same time. But the next game I scored 0 three times in a row am quite shocked but very happy with myself hehe. Love you all :)

Today was first training of the year! Cold, wavy and lousy but it was training!! After that went to Fangyi's birthday party and then realised it was a combined party for Zhenjia too oops :/ It was quite fun, the sparklers and playing pig etc! Hope Fangyi liked the present, why Jan got so many babies D: And why everyone going for canoe marathong except for us D: D:

I am trying to reflect on the year but I think I will need more time... But reflecting on the holidays, well it was mostly spent on canoeing/with canoeists but definitely well-spent :D I guess I should have studied and I will probably regret horribly when school reopens but at least I'm starting! This holiday's trainings were probably the worst for me in the whole year... I destroyed my grip and vice versa (and the cycle is continuing now with the new grip too) and the blisters and raw flesh and little blood was really painful, plus getting sick so many times. Worse, my strokes were wrong all the time and it was so frustrating and disheartening, and they are wrong again now... And I think at one point in time, I really lost the feeling of rowing in the water, it just felt awkward and heavy... And all those crazy thoughts... I really hope things will get better there is really no time. And I will put in effort to make things better. I know I need to be stronger :( It's so horrible... But thank you you for listening to my crazy thoughts and encouraging me.

Then there's the thing that's been bothering me all year long. Even though I know that it will not work out (haha there's only 3% chance according to this movie) but I cannot make myself stop. I've found so many reasons but I can't convince myself.

This is so horrible... I must be fried toufu.

P.S. to my sick friends (why so many of you sick :( ) rest lots and get well soon! Hope I managed to entertain some of you today!

2009-12-26T02:06:00.002+08:00

Now about staying over at cousin's place and the rest :D Mummy and daddy and didi went to China and me and mei decided not to go so we had to move to cousins' house.

Stayover with mei at cousin's for a week plus was super good because I had good homecooked food omg steamboats and corn and wintermelon soups and fried prawns and porkchops and (homemade)meatballs and chilli crab it was super yummy :D Then every night we would play Wii or battle on Bejeweled or watch dramas! Until 1am even though I had training the next day :/ So the only downside was that I had to take mrt to mac almost everyday (cause that week I trained mon,tues,thurs,fri,sat omg 5 days!!) and brisk/speedwalk the long distance from marymount to bagshed since I was always late.

Wednesday we went to the airport to welcome back Yan and Sihui! And kind of welcomed back Yunhan, Zhenjia and Lester too heh. Then had sinful Popeyes dinner where our captain only ate biscuits D: I've been having a lot sinful meals recently actually..

Thursday went out with aunties after training :D They were both late! And bowling alley at Marina Square was full so we went to Kallang Leisure Park instead. Played two games and my score doubled for the second game :o and I doubled striked too hehe! But Qitian was damn pro she spared a lot and still beat me :( And Goujun didn't know there were words on yanyan biscuits but the description on the yanyan biscuits were super funny somehow. "Seal - Loves to sun tan" and "Goat - You are lucky today" Me!

Saturday pb-ed with Susu 10:46!!!!! WE SUBBED 11 finally!! :D

Then we got invited to cousin's cousin's christmas party on Sunday :D Which was fun because of the Wii hehe we all luv swordplay seriously and I pwn canoeing hahaha. And I got nice presents too thank you cousins :) Hope they liked our presents!

Monday after training we had team outing! :D Original plan was to kbox and go hunting for food at old airport road but we ended up going to Seoul Garden for lunch (omg my first time there!!). It was good :D We sat there for 3/4 hours (overstayed an hour haha) and tried to fry egg and fry rice but it was quite fail.... We polished a mountain of cockles though! After that we watched Avatar (and yes I almost cried I don't know why but I didn't Junru!!!) loved the movie (Y).

Tuesday was last day of training. Had interesting lunch with Amanda, Yan, Weekuang and Hansheng! First after-training meal with guys in a long long time and new matchmaking opportunity hehe. Was supposed to go Bodyworlds with DISC but got cancelled. At night mummy and daddy came to pick us home :) Even though I love cousin's house, I love home much more.

Wednesday got invited to gym with Yan and Amanda at Yan's condo and after gymming it evolved into a running expedition o.O We planned to run to and down Orchard road, from Yan's condo in Yio Chu Kang hahaha. And we almost diddddd. So we packed a backpack of wallets, phones, deos, tissues, water etc and ran from Yio Chu Kang to Ang Mo Kio (omg AMK IS BIG) and then to Bishan to Marymount where we stopped to take photo of school :D And to Thomson, to FarEastFlora etc, to SJI International (which sadly wasn't next to SJI otherwise we would be so close to Orchard), and Old Police Academy and then we decided to follow the 105 route and ran onto the highway O.O and somewhere on PIE we saw a policeman and funnily, I don't know if we freaked out when we saw the police or because there suddenly wasn't cars on that part of the highway but we crossed the road and continued running and got lost :( It was quite scary cause there were trucks honking and jeering at us (but there was this nice taxi who let us cross the road) and there was always the possibility of car crash :/ and to run the correct way we would have to backface the cars which would be worse so we walked down PIE until we finally reached a bus stop called Adam Road!!! Took a cab from there to Orchard to meet Sihui who waited so long sorry :( But we must try to run again someday!!! By the novena route I guess haha, which Yan successfully walked on the same night.

So at Orchard we lepaked for super long and bumped into many many people! Lunner was good though (Lunner = lunch+dinner, hehe our new favourite word :D) talked about a lot of stuff together. And then Lester and Jon came to find me because we were supposed to do christmas shopping and watch movie but I was still with the girls. Accompanied them for dinner and I'm sorry :(

Christmas eve which was the next day, we decided to meet again because we never got to explore 313@Somerset and all of us were dateless haha, well except someone, AHEM hehe. Watched Alvin/Theodore and the Chipmunks super cute!!! I cannot get over their cuteness hahaha "does my butt look smaller this way??" And speaking of movies there are so many movies I want to watch like the Jay Chou one!!! D: Then shopped around 313 and had another lunner at Sakae, the more we ate the hungrier we got so scary :S Photos on fb! Went home and spent the rest of Christmas with the family!

Everything seems so brief but it was a good few weeks ♥♥♥

2009-12-18T22:10:00.001+08:00

(K I shall finish this post first then go on about this week..)

Back from Gopeng since Saturday night then Sunday had to unpack and pack for cousin's house! So much has happened this week, this is going to be long...

So Gopeng was a great dilemma, the activities were super cool and fun but we had so little people we finished in record time and there was so much free time and 7hours of travelling omg.

Day one was just travelling and slacking and mini team talk then day two's first activity was adventure caving and we climbed 855 steps!!! Me and Amanda faithfully counted :D The guide was super funny, showing us batman, merlion, all sorts of funny prints and curves on the cavewalls. Then we had to slide down rocks and lower ourselves into this hole which was damn scary and Amanda bruised her butt D: Had to walk and crawl in dark wet places and thank goodness the instructor lent me his headlamp and for Amanda's powerful torch haha.

Then after lunch there was whitewater rafting which was damn damn cool. We got separated though, had Dong, Jairus, Marcus and the male instructor in the raft and Juice the guide o.o Everytime we hit the rapids and rocks I would fall inside or out of the boat which was very irritating but the male instructor got so used to pulling me up there was once he pulled me back justttt before I fell into the water again. And Juice made us crash into this huge rock and the whole boat capsized it was super cool haha. There were names for every rapid and they were all so apt and foreboding!! Maybe except for Scooby Doo, don't understand o.O

So day two ended at 3pm and we had nothing to do the whole day again D: Gathered to play Indian poker at night for a short while and everyone hated us girls because we never ever lied to each other hehe :D Jairus lost and he had to drink 10 cups of water, totally self-inflicted punishment hahaha.

Then day three we had waterfall abseiling! We went twice but I am such a klutz seriously I keep slipping and falling D: Damn scary to have water rushing at you and slippery walls, even though it wasn't that high. Then we went to the bottom of the waterfall and sat on the gushing waters which was super nice but I keep getting washed off even when I was held down :(

And there were all the random times like travelling around in a truck/lorry! Super funny because we had to watch out for all the branches and big leaves hanging down the middle of the road and duck duck duck! I still get abit traumatised now when I sit on doubledeckers it's quite weird. And inventing mystery player for bridge! Because there were only the 3 of us, but we got owned by the mystery deck so much, so pro o.o And swopping slippers for fun during the trip (and walking around with mismatched slippers for a week because Amanda and Susu fell sick and didn't come for training o.o). And all the boring times on the bus binging and playing ipod/psp/nds/bridge/taiti/with my own hair and sleeping.

Okay more stories about Gopeng should be told face-to-face cause I will bore with this long post and I am lazy to type and there are no photos (ok only one) because Susu hasn't uploaded!!!

2009-12-09T22:16:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday Simin and happy belated to mummyyy :D

Went to malaysia after training on Monday to shop with mummy and eat with the family :D So actually I bought the most stuff ~guilty guilty~ but hope mummy was happy!!! Especially with our card and little present :D But apparently she hasn't had time to read it.. :(

Training on Monday was quite bad.. trainings have been bad oh wellz but getting better kind of I guess. So after last week's bad-ripping-off-of-skin-on-my-hand-until-it-bled, this week skin ripped off from the bottom of my feet and it won't heal properly unless I don't walk or something D: and more nasty blisters sigh. Didn't go for training today cause it was damn painful and mummy and daddy kept nagging :( I guess I should stop "being toufu". I know, I will be fried toufu!!! Harder skin (y).

Yesterday went Sakura dinner buffet with DISC! :D Waited so long for Cheryl to come, or maybe it seemed long because I was hungry.. Didn't really eat that much but it was not bad! Poor Daniel puked or something like that. And poor Cheryl cannot eat icecream or durian puffs because of her cough. After that we played Footsball okay I forgot how to spell it again. With paper balls from all the SAFRA forms hahaha it was super fun!!! But girls lost D: And Cheryl dropped her bottle inside the machine. But I like the machine feel like owning one how cool would that be!!

K hate packing but have to go pack for Gopeng tmr~ Won't be back until Saturday night byebye hope we don't die!

2009-12-04T22:58:00.003+08:00

No more fever! Thank you friends for you concern :) Still have flu though feel so giddy all the time oh wellz. Get well soon too Cheryl!! Then we can go out happily on Tuesday :D

Had sibling outing today! Stupid GV no more student price except at Bishan and somewhere, but watched New Moon which was O.O, and I cried at some point which is even more O.O. Bad choice for sibling movie I guess D: But it was a good move I think :D And our next sibling movie is Avatar hahaha. Ate dinner afterwards to celebrate mummy's birthday. 9-course meal it was so scary and so queasy now :S

Trainings have been horribly bad super lousy shiz but hopefully I can get my strokes right and all soon :/ But there's not much time left actually ahh.

Gopeng in less than a week! Hopefully can sort of bond and hope it'll be fun even though so little people are going (3 girls wth D:) Have to go buy board shorts, stupid woman don't allow fbts during the activities. Oh I tried wearing my brother's pants and I can so maybe can wear his shorts o.O But his shorts kind of look a lot tighter.. so digusting. Mei's shorts are too big sigh. And need to buy some torchlight too. Oh and insect repellent!! Must make a list.. And I don't have haversack oh no.

Life is so boring.. Someone remind me to run soon haven't ran in damn long D:

Hope the stupid side-effects of the medicine go away soon~ Drowsy but cannot sleep cause of the itch-all-over-creepy-other-effect :( Go away then I can finally sleep in peace~~

2009-11-28T21:24:00.002+08:00

Having fever, 39.0 degrees D: It's been barely a month since the last time I fell sick D: Mummy says it's the sun, weak immune system zz.

Mummy rocks though, she bullied the guardian pharmacist into selling her my expired prescription for fever medicine :) I was almost tempted to eat half a panadol, and my eyes would probably have swelled until you cannot see them anymore. I hate getting sick :/

Must get well soon!! And hopefully get to send Yan and Sihui tmr!

2009-11-27T22:07:00.003+08:00

Meimei is back :D And she bought me bodyshop body lotion and hellokitty plaster D: D: I want the cute charm she bought for her friend!!!

Today is Friday I keep thinking it's Saturday! Junru's flying off tmr and Yan and Sihui's flying off on Sunday the team is going to be small D: And Qitian's moving out of mac tmr!! I'll miss you dear omg :(

I am getting sunburnt a lot recently the weather is crazy. Today daddy and mummy finally opened their eyes and commented how dark and big I am though, wow. White rudder and blackie all day with susu today :) Blisters everywhere though, damn pain.

Went kbox on tuesday with Qinyan and Xinyuan :) We bought Qinyan some recordable bear it's super cuteee. We can sing forever and forever and never get tired :D

Wednesday had super windy/choppy training and after that team dinner@Swensen's!! To celebrate Ais's birthday and send off the immersion people and sign team contract :D

Anyway I am sorry, and quite worried/bothered but what was I supposed to say :( Seems like no one's on my side though. I tried to put it nicely. You don't say anything, it's so difficult to read your mind. I don't even know why I care.

Am kind of lazy to say more so oh well. Running out of money!! But I want to watch more movies (and eat more popcorn). Omg so much for sticking to the healthy diet.

I wish I could save you.

2009-11-20T21:02:00.003+08:00

Byebye meimei and Simin! Hope they'll have fun in Taiwan and Hawaii :) Honoluluuuu.

Had an exciting few days!

Wednesday training after rowing 2km there was lightning warning and it rained so we did fun sets! Wheelbarrowed on the grass with shoes in our hands and carried each other around :D Then jiaolian made the guys jump over one another over and over again in circles while we watched at the pavillion hehe. Super hilarious when they mis-jumped hahaha. And then they had to jump over three people too which was really scary cause they keep slipped but jiaolian's demo was the best zomg poor hansheng. Videos on fb thanks to Sihui :D Lucky girls cannot do things like that cause it would look super wrong haha. Then did 2min30 planks and jiaolian let us off! Because the lightnings and thunders were really scary..

Thursday we surprised Ivan! :D The plan at first was to surprise him at his house and we had ideas to make a Miss swan card but oh wellz no time. Then it started raining too after school ended D: But nothing will stop us!!! Blindfolded Ivan and brought him to the pool where we dunked him :D Then he took revenge and dunked Daniel, twice hahaha. Should have taken videos but it never occurred to me D: We (girls) didn't get dunked :) Great to be girls hahaha. Had to rush off for training after that but anyway hope it was a fun experience?? Heard that like no one ate the cake/pie though :( Photos on fb! We rock manz nice one CDS!!

For land training we did Bel's hamburger sets (while Junru sat there watching/cheer us on) which were quite manageable I guessss, not as scary as the old seniors' sets. But died doing the plank twists o.o And then we did assisted pull ups and I headbutted Yan while assisting her D: D: She claimed she was violated but so was I!!! But she let me help her with the rest of the sets and um I guess we regained trust hahaha super funny. Ended early! Then Kalya, Amanda, Sihui and I went to eat cafe cartel (WE MADE IT IN TIME FOR STUDENTS' MEAL!!). Ended up stoning there for 2&half hours playing truth or dare, thinking about girls and team outings, etc :D

After that kind of unknowingly rescued Jeremy who was at J8 after failing to row and gymed at bishan, took 59 with him and Sihui :) Even though I was super tired but didn't sleep and it was quite funny haha about his partner and round ubin etc. Haven't talked to him properly in a long time so it was good, although don't think we'll have much chance to talk again haha. Miss those times oh wellz, too bad.

Then today had one block of chem lecture and we were supposed to go row but they were cutting trees in Macritchie so me, Sihui and Yan ran one round outside school then decided to make people play captain's ball with us, it was like a craving or sthg o.o Luckily Weijie Ben Kakiong Junhao were playing at the bball courts so we all played captain's ball with a soccer ball on the bball court which was quite fun :D It was canoeists vs my classmates haha and Yan was damn cute she kept almost-falling-onto-people but she is a very very good defender (Y)(Y)(Y)!

After we all got tired started shooting instead cause Ben yong was very irritating but ahha I wasn't as lousy as they/I thought haha. And I shot in from all the lines in front and I shot a three pointer!!! Before Ben did, and with less tries hehe so proud of myself :D Even though I shot it the way my little brother shoots, like scoopishly but the line is so far away~ Then he challenged me to some ABC game and it took damn longgg and it started raining so had to stop but so lousy he cannot win me even though I didn't win too haha. REMATCH!!

Maybe some some some day I can finally play bball with meimei and daddy D:

Then ate dingtaifung with Junru and Sihui cause Jun wanted to eat xiaolongbaos and Sihui has never eaten them before or at dingtaifung!! Went home super full and happy and watched Mean girls, the show that all teenagers should have watched apparently haha. Think I did watch it before though the ending was super familiar. Thanks Simin for helping me borrow from Joelle :D

Shall go sleep now, my brother keeps peeking at my laptop/asking me why I take so long to blog/asking me what is my blog url. T.T

2009-11-14T20:22:00.006+08:00

I'll leave my window open,

Cleared 179 pw-related files from the computer!!! Cool manz, I win Ivan hahaha. PW is finally finally over for good. OP was quite bad but oh wellz too bad. It's over omg this is so unreal.

Anyway ran ~4km (okay 3.9) on Monday, didn't run 5/7km like in bel's sms but AM PROUD OF THE ANKLE!!! Please give the ankle a pat on the heel (back) :D I'm really quite slow now sigh and after running it started aching again but I will be patient... Monday is like the only day I feel like running on. But no I will make running a hobby, or something, more often! I will run again tmr! 5.2km!!

Watched They Shoot Humphreys, Don't They and it's not often that gossip girl can make you think but this episode made me think. I really don't know how to not care about what others think and not have to prove others wrong because sometimes it gets to you very badly doesn't it.

Watched 2012 with Junru and Jiayan yesterday at Tampines! They were supposed to come over to try my winter coats but 2012 took precedence hahaha. It was sooo long, totally worth the money o.o I still think space ships would have been more feasible though. After the movie when I was going home had to walk through crowds and stand in a crowded bus and I just kept thinking something was going to happen and we will all die, very scary :/ And totally embarrassed myself over eiffel tower and leaning tower of pisa ahhhh.

Then watched My Sister's Keeper with Sihui today after training at cine :D She started crying before me hahahaha. But apparently I cried more. But we got front row seats (yes, how???) and so had to look up a lot so I think most of my tears rolled to the back of my head so I got a really bad headache during the movie :/ It was quite good, the book's still better, but sucks to be a mum...

I like watching movies :D Don't usually have anyone to watch with so don't watch often but yay watched quite abit recently :)

Rowed k2 with susu again today, 11:11! (MAKE A WISH!!!) Our pb's 11:02 now though, last monday I think haha. Then got to row the nelo again and capped so stupidly, sorry Amanda you had to save me twice in a row o.o Seriously I only get to row it when all the pros are on the k4s but oh well yes I guess at least jiaolian believes enough to let me use it.. Then rowed k4 with Amanda, Delia and Ais :) It was quite good apart from the perma left tilt T.T Oh and onto the list of things-not-to-do-early-in-the-morning goes: Running and doing push-ups continuously (Jiaolian's torture today D:), second to taking photos haha. Need to be stronger stronger, and have more stamina/will :/

Oh well my life is so boring.

Oh and hello world, after weighing myself in school today, I have decreased from 40kg again... :( It was a very sad/frustrating/sad moment. I guess I haven't had much appetite recently but stillll D:

The photo says it's taken in Paris, so it is the Eiffel tower right?

And don't wait for the sky to clear.
It is raining a lot recently.. Having no hopes is better than getting your hopes high and watching them fall smack down I guess, so I will have no hopes. Bye!

2009-11-08T19:47:00.003+08:00

Exciting weekend! :) Today was the dragonboating competition@bedok reservoir! Thought we weren't rowing but in the end I had to row and Sihui was drummer haha so coolxzx! Three weeks of training (two for me) for one minute of competition haha, it was all worth it cuz we got 2nd!! Silver medal :0 And free jersey and shirt haha. Such a cool experience :D I'm glad we got to participate in the end actually haha. Lots of photos coming up on fb thanks to Sihui haha.

Yesterday's training was super awesome too! Rowed (the sucky black rudder) ak k2 with susu again, 6km then 2k timing, and we pb-ed!! 11:08 :D You were awesome dear, holding up all my tilting when I tried to control the boat's direction and my splashing bad strokes D: Much loveee. Then rowed k4 with Kalya, Bel and Sihui for 2km which was super wavy oh wellz sorry :/

Then jiaolian swapped me and Yan and I got to row the nelo omg o.o It was so exciting and so scary I was shaking in it at first but was damn coooool. I am sorry to say that I capped in it thrice though D: Once when I was finishing 4km and again right at the start at timing and again at 1k during timing, so no timing D: Ahhh it was very awesome all the same. Then got put into blackie with susu again! Rowed 17km in total haha wow.

K I need to rest/memorise script/hope dinner comes soon. Am so sick now sigh why now Op's in 3 days :( Reminds me of my horribly sick week before RS presentation last year all over again. But I will recover fast and make it through like I diddd. This too will pass. Bye!

2009-11-03T22:38:00.005+08:00

Rowed ak k2 with susu today! 4km then timing, 11:12! :) I think my fastest with susu was 11:22 so pb-ed! It was quite cool how our row was smoother when we were talking about random stuff like cable tv channels o.o haha. Think like we're still not very used to each other and I need to correct stuffxzx like my erratic frequency and balance but love you very much susu thank you for today :)

During break went out with DISC to eat zichar at S11! Haha it was so random but Simin and I had craving for cereal prawn D: Okay wait she craved more for mantou and chilli crab sauce haha. But don't eat there I don't think it's very nice, and it's overpriced grr. I am going to make the family go to my fav zichar stall this weekend, satisfy the craving!!!

Haha I'm almost finishing my Post Honey Bunches of Oats with Real (sourrrr) Strawberries!! It was me and Sihui's first step to being healthy, when we went to shop at the bedok NTUC on some random day after training. (You will not know that we bought potato chips that day too, they were on discount!!) Been eating the cereal everyday during lessons and lectures and I'm not sick of them yet actually heh :D I remember how I tried the blueberry one long long time ago and left it there to rot after a while.. Highly recommended :D :D

~~The photo is so big :0~~ Figured out I can make it smaller. This post is so random and I am so sleepy, goodnight!

2009-11-01T20:38:00.003+08:00

Got sunburnt from dragonboating today T.T lobster red I swear so scary, I thought I'd be too dark to get sunburnt already heh. It was so tiring but quite fun, "Longer, deeper, harder, PULLER!' puller???? Hahaha funny coxswain. And today I realised coxswain is not the rudder man's name it is his POSITION OMG. Cause there were 2 dragonboats and the 97kg leader called both of the rudder men coxswain, really took me a while to realise :/

Friday went to watch Jennifer's Body with DISC! Didn't understand why the guys were so scared cause it wasn't scary at all, and Cheryl and Simin's screaming hahaha very entertaining company :D Stupid plot but the hovering makes up for everything hahaha. Let's watch 500 days of summer on dvd instead Simin!

Haha and Wednesday was Simin-ignores-us day and she failed by one hour, we are irresistable :) But the class really thought we fell out hahaha like Weijie's sms and the rest secretly asking.

Tuesday went for Fencing IHC anyhow poke poke poke and chiong and we won!!! :D Don't know how we did it but heh free ihc champion shirt and trophy so cool :D :D

OH YES I FORGOT TO MENTION. HELLO WORLD I AM 40KG!!!!!! As of Thursday :D Hopefully I still am 40kg though heh. Here's to 40kg and more kgs to come yay cheerssss. Speaking of 40kg, I can't believe the bet is still on :0 Breakfast lunch and dinner! Don't think it'll really happen though oh wellz, so surprising that you remembered and I forgot anyway haha. And apparently team owes me icecream :D

Was about to whine about how I really want to run again and I realised I forgot to go see the sinseh again shizzzzz. Promised myself to go yesterday ahhh.

Haha sometimes I really feel so unappreciated, then sometimes I feel so guilty because I don't do enough for some other stuff or people. So conflicting, I wish I knew how to balance it out better oh well.

Been thinking a lot this week about canoeing and training. Thinking about why I am here in the first place when clearly the odds are against me hah. And thinking about how to prove my worth and that I am strong enough, because there are so many people who doubt me until sometimes I doubt myself. But kind of decided that well there's only 5 months left and I should make the most out of it and train hard regardless of what happens in the end. Because even if a lot of people don't believe in me I know the girls team does and I cannot let them and myself down :/

Like a petal falling to the ground, a dreamer following his dream.

2009-10-26T22:11:00.005+08:00

Today was such a long day.. I almost wanted to say today's Wednesday omg wth, but anyway btw Wednesday is Simin-Ignores-Us day so wish her good luck haha.

Got back promo results today and I guess it was alright.. No problems with the parents because well they don't really care honestly, they don't even know what grades there are. There were good surprises and bad ones, but really thought I could have done much better if I had spent more time studying instead of doing pw (okay, excuse I know but wtv) and dozing off and daydreaming.

But like what I saw on Sujin's twitter, there's more than just promos results to shed tears about. Don't think she means what I am thinking about but yes good friends are retaining :( I didn't realise the consequences for the group of people pulled out of classes today, and stupidly thought they still had a chance of promoting but no they either retain or leave. I really cannot imagine life without the 2 of you.. Someone I can always be with without feeling uncomfortable even though we may not have seen each other in a while, someone I can talk to and wouldn't judge me. I really don't want them to retain they'll be so far away not nextdoor anymore :( I'm sorry me crying made you cry even more :( I should be strong and make you stronger.

Ms Ng said she is not worried about me but I am worried :/ I hope I will be able to cope.. Thinking about this week alone, trainings, tutorials to do etc is already quite scary. 5 more months only.. but I can't imagine how life will be without canoeing 5 months later.

Oh wellz. Training today was pretty cool. Rowed ak with Ais for 4km then we took timing :0 12.40's not really good but satisfied for a first ak timing :) Saturday rowed ak k1, and I realised was my first time in ak k1! Besides the time very very long ago when Weekuang let me play with his ak at the 1k mark for a few seconds haha and besides the sji ak quite long ago too. Then rowed k2 with Eunice and I sat at the back :0 haven't sat backman in a long time and it was totally weird, no space to row the sides so fat D: Sorry I always blog about training it must be so boring but sometimes I feel like I have to put it down somewhere to remember.

Don't shrug your shoulders.

2009-10-22T23:07:00.005+08:00

This is not going to be very exciting or happy D:

Had OP yesterday which was a nightmare I really don't like presenting haha I am monotonous and talk too fast and no gestures yay. Q&A was better though. I think I keep saying this until I feel bad but I am really quite irritated how groupmate cannot answer a simple may wong question whose answer was explicitly written in the report. Really shows how much groupmate has read the report much less done the report.

So much to do though D: Revamp the ppt, group item etc etc so much to think through. And I really think I won't do well for OP oh well...

Then training today was another nightmare. Like who still caps in a tiger k1 manz. Only me. Hah I guess I can always think of excuses like how it's my first time in k1 since training started and I got the high seat boat. But I used to like the high seat boat and honestly my row was so bad.. Jiaolian made us take timing and started out okay but kind of lost it halfway through and almost capped like about 20times I think.. My strokes are so screwed up, sometimes I can feel when my strokes are more correct but I can still cannot pin point where they went wrong. I want to find it backkk. This really sucks :(

After that rowed k4 with bel, delia and ais. It felt quite nice I guess but I thought there was a tilt :/ Then after bathing went for og dinner! Only 9 of us turned up I think haha but was abit stoned but still fun. Went to some place at coronation for dinner and some played bridge then island creamery which made me happier :) And gave the ogls a mugging pack haha Leon complained about the toilet roll but kept playing with it?? Must have been a disturbing sight. Og should really have more outings but I guess it's quite difficult for us to meet up too..

I'm very sorry for being so fierce to Ivan online just now :/ :/ :/ Really hate pw and how people have no brains. I'm sure you want to complete the group item video tmr and you don't even think about who's going to bring video cam, props, clothes etc. Great (y).

K bye I am so grumpyxzx ugh. Why am I so weak.

2009-10-20T20:11:00.004+08:00

I've got a tight grip on reality
But I can't let go of what's in front of me here;

Crashed dragonboating at Bedok reservoir with Sihui on Sunday! Cause weeki didn't have enough people for training and we live so near hee hee :D Was quite a cool experience!! Even though it was really crazy tiring and water just keeps splashing and blinding my eyes, contacts felt so insecure. And am quite sorry cause there were times when I really wasn't using a lot of strength... but I insist that at least I am not very heavy so less drag!!! (This remind me of bio hahaha) Then over lunch Ben started some speculation over my tshirt cause apparently strawberry shortcake has sick connotations but I will not find out what it is cause I still like the shirt and still want to wear the shirt grr. Sihui and I so innocent (A).

Oh weighed myself at the gym today and I AM NOW 39.80 KG!!!! So close!!!!!!!!!!!

Actually sometimes I secretly think that it will be quite weird when I finally hit 40kg even though I really really want to and when I see myself in the gym mirror I feel a strong urge to stretch my reflection horizontally (not that I don't want to grow vertically haha). I know a few kgs don't really make much difference but sometimes it feels like when I hit 40kg I won't be me anymore like it won't feel like myself does that make sense??

OP dry run tomorrow D: I think I really cannot memo the script in time o.o and the ppt can be better but oh wellz. Hope may wong doesn't blast us too badly though, or like swop our parts?? Will just die if she does that. Still got group item to do zzzzzzzz.

Need to find the foot massager!!! My feet plus ankle feels like it needs to be moulded properly. Been trying to find the foor massager for daysss.

I shall continue the hunt bye!

Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream.

2009-10-17T23:30:00.002+08:00

Rowed with Kalya the whole day today in RJ20 then blackie then after training two J3s came so we got to row with them on the k4 too! First time on the real raffles k4! :D And it felt so awesome seriously.

After training went to queenstown with Yida and Weirong to find windbreakers don't know why no one else came D: But anywayz it's such a long process seriously.. After that went to marina to find Xinyan Jialei and the rest and we wanted to bowl but the waiting time was so long (k I was secretly glad cause ankle was hurting quite badly) so we went to watch movie and ended up watching Halloween II, sneaked into a M18 :0 But it's such a horrible and gory movie, about some psychotic murderer who kills people by repeatedly stabbing them/cutting off their heads/slitting/well horrible stuffxzx... And well the actors basically expressed all emotions with the f word. Totally did not understand the plot but I think there will be a Halloween III :/

Sat around and talked and realised that I really miss them very much even though like maybe not all of them cause I guess some of us were never close. But glad I went anyway!

Friday was me time hehe. Basically stoned at home playing games/watching lame drama serials/finding scores for my rekindled interest in piano was quite fun!

Sucks that ankle has to be such a pain in the ass but I must be patient and give it time :/ I am really so weak now. And it sucks how everytime there's this cycle of strong-weak-strong-weak to go through when training's disrupted/ankle spoils etc but it is all my fault so I will not whine anymore must get stronger stronger stronger train harder harder harder.

How do people do this.

2009-10-16T02:06:00.004+08:00

So on saturday night went to Night Safari with DISC! I don't remember being to Night Safari before so this would be the first time hee hee. But it was Halloween Horror night and only Daniel didn't know so when he knew he really kicked up a storm like some whiny little kid hahaha. There were all these scary creatures around got like creepy clowns and screwed-up characters like Cinderella with her glass slipper through her head and the tinman from Oz and witches etc. BUT THE CLOWNS WERE THE WORST. Haha seriously they just stare you down and I know it was so ridiculous but I just screamed even though the clown didn't scare me he just stared but really very creepy :/ And then the clown scared Simin hahaha epic cause she tried to avoid him by walking behind a pillar but he saw her and booed her at the front of the pillar and all of us witnessed it but it didn't register in us to stop Simin at all haha poor her.

So we went on the Tram of Terror and got back seats!!! Cheryl, Simin and I were super scared that some scary thing will suddenly appear during the tram trip but the beginning was really just all animal sight-seeing haha and the only slightly horrifying thing was the commentator's voice, actually more amusing than horrifying. Super cute how Tiger Balm sponsored the tigers and SPC (lion logo) sponsored the lions haha. Then near the end we entered NEVERLAND and omg damn freaky!!! I cannot get over it. I should not be recounting this at 2am sighhh.

There were like beast (OH I THINK IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST) and this topless freaky guy and bloody Snow White and shiny red-eye scary thing who came so close to Cheryl etc etc etc who just kept coming into the tram. Sitting at the back the best cause they just keep disturbing you until the next tram comes. Could hear a lot of scuttering around and verbal abuse from Daniel haha and Ivan the brave soul whom I thought tried to protect Simin from this monster coming into the tram and I took a photo of it, BUT UPON FURTHER THINKING (looking at the photo after the whole thing), NO HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HIGH FIVE THE MONSTER. Crazy he's obsessed with high fiveing monsters don't know why he is scared of horror movies but not scary real things o.o

After the heart attack it wasn't enough and we walked the horror trail which I really think was worse than the tram ride cause well I got jelly legs and like no more protection from Cheryl and Simin you see :/ But I had Daniel to be freaked out with hahaha. Scariest was when the scary things popped up from the dark bushes one after another!! Omg cannot see them at all and before you recover another one comes out. I figured out the best way to not get scared is to not look at the scary things. Seriously so freaked out I didn't dare to look at any of them near the end just avoid and walk walk walk.

And just when I thought it was all over I got myself into big shit :( Daniel was fooling around and swearing at some stupid clown with blood stains all over him and I took photo of it but there was flash so the clown turned and stared at me and I don't know why I just freaked out and ran away BUT HE KEPT CHASING ME so ran round in circles, into people and tried to hide behind someone but failed until I finally stopped and glared at him (HE WAS SO NEAR ME OMG) which apparently was super funny to Cheryl.

After that Ivan left and we went to watch Surrogates midnight movie haha my first too I think. It was quite cool (Y) think if we just went home I might not sleep/get nightmares. Then cabbed with Cheryl and Simin home, yes Simin thank goodness for easties!!

Went broke that day D: Omg this is probably longest post in a long time. Group photo!

The rest of the photos are on fb! I shall watch gossip girl to clear my mind now..

2009-10-16T00:52:00.018+08:00

Found problems in the written report while doing OP oh wellz. And got scolded for finding them D: It's not my fault.. and it's too late oh wellzzzz. Wish they had read the report but think they still wouldn't find any mistakes, wish I had read the report a few more times but I think at that time I was too saturated and cockeyed from reading it already oh wellzzzzzzz.

Natasha Bedingfield - Wild Horses

Colbie Caillat - Fearless

I had such a difficult time trying to upload these two cause radioblogclub's embing is the nicest-looking but super laopok already doesn't have them so I had to google around, looks quite ugly but really love the songs!

K next blog post night safari :D

2009-10-09T23:11:00.004+08:00

LIBERATION!!! It feels liberation was so long ago but it's only 2 days ago actually haha.

Anyway was kind of sick from promos already and then considering all the food I've been eating it's no wonder I feel so sick now :( But really couldn't resist it and I really really hope I don't fall sick cause there's training tmr and NIGHT SAFARI WITH DISC!! And if I get a fever I don't know how long it'll take for me to recover again cause I am allergic to all the fever meds and the last time last year it took a whole week to recover ughhh.

Anyway so Wednesday went to watch Fame with Junru and Jiayan after bio paper! Bel and her friends were two rows behind us haha and saw this bunch of bio ra guys who were going to watch cloudy with a chance of meatballs O.O The movie was quite good, the cast's so talented they can sing, dance, play instruments and act (Y). It made me think about JC cause the movie really jumped so quickly through the freshmen, sophomore and senior years, it really is like JC isn't it? And I don't want it to end sad. I am not putting my point across properly but I really felt quite strongly about this feeling after the movie. I think if you watch the movie you'll get what I mean.

Oh yeah and everytime the people jump and dance around the only thing on my mind was worry, for their ankles :/ I know it's super weird but I always am this paranoid everytime I sprain my ankle. It is slowly recovering though I still cannot tiptoe and jump and it hurt when we walked for too long in orchard. On a brighter note the balukus are almost gone! The whole other side of my feet suddenly bruised some time last week and it was quite traumatising I didn't dare to wear the ankle guard.

Then Thursday had the PW talk which was super boring and useless but played sports/countries/pokemon bingo with Simin and Ivan which was super hilarious and my geography really sucks no wonder I lost to cousins at geo challenge on fb! After that looked at phones with Simin and Daniel and then went over to cousins' house! She cooked so much for me these two days :D And really had fun catching up with her and watching dramas and making fun of her new idol Adam Lambert and after looking at so many of his videos at the house concluded that he totally looks like Kelly Osbourne, oops. But she found me a new eyecandy hee hee! She's going back to UK on sunday though, could have spent more time with her if not for promos oh wellz.

So after eating popcorn, nachos, roasted macademia nuts, baked chicken, toast, cauliflower aglio olio, kimchi soup I think it is no wonder my throat died D:

Finished catching up with gossip girl already anyway!!! Although I plead guilty to watching the first episode over the promo weekends :(

Shall sleep now and hope for the best tomorrow!! Suddenly came to my thought that if I fall sick I will probably lose weight so no cannot fall sick I WILL BE STRONG COME ON BODY!!

2009-10-02T21:34:00.002+08:00

Still haven't bought any chem practice book hahaha I failll manz.

But 2 down 3 more to go! Haven't been good so far though oh well this is quite bad.

It's mooncake festival tomorroww but we've finished all the mooncakes at home already heh. Still have pomelo though (Y).

I think it is really scam to pay 4bucksplus for a frappuccino in Macdonalds when you can get so much nicer fraps at Starbucks for 5bucks. But why is Starbucks so far away and why did I sprain my ankle??

Haha speaking of the ankle.. I am really scared it will take so long to recover like by the time it is okay, canoeing season will be over and everything already :/ Cause well the last time I sprained my ankle was about half a year ago and it took that long for it to feel normal and there's only about half a year left.. less actually sigh.

I think it is quite true that once you lose the closeness with someone it is very difficult to get it back.. Am trying and have tried very hard, in my opinion, but it's still the same. It's like how I crave so much for pomelo but when I finally get to eat it I realise it's not really as sweet as I remembered. Okay don't really know how that links. And how do you get back those friends who have already disappeared from your life? Just like that poof. I don't even know how to try. Just hope that no one else disappears anymore I am going to treasure all of you.

Okay I have more pertinent things to be worried about/do D:

2009-09-28T21:36:00.006+08:00

2 days to promos, I feel so insecure and unprepared but am hardly doing anything about it D:

Ankle's better but still swollen, quite weird.

Attempted to study overnight on Friday. Crashed Ivan, Ken, Dong and friends and well I studied but I don't know how much of it really got in.. :S Quite sorry to them cause it must have been quite weird oh wellz. I had big breakfast at 5am though hehe. And sweets and disgusting macs frappe to get me through the night. Salute to Jeremy who mugged overnight for 2 nights (I think?) during CTs lol.

Feel quite useless saying this but I really miss having someone to always talk to no matter what. Especially during this time. But there's no one so have to learn to be independent.

Must study study study. No time already what am I doinggg.

I am such a nag. Will not freak out, we can do this friends!!!

Is it too late to buy a chem practice book tmr? Heh.

2009-09-24T03:27:00.003+08:00

Waiting for WR to be printed.. I seriously cannot think of a single thing that I did not do in the WR :/ And I don't think any of them has read the full report still cause every single mistake's either pointed out by May Wong or by me in my irritating highlighted words. Oh well whatever it is ending soon.

Sprained my ankle today again, for the fourth time in my life :( Was getting on the bus and telling Ivan how this ri boy at the bus stop looks super like the gay math teacher but then the bus auntie closed the door on me and I fell and when I got up I felt the familiar pain again :( :( This time it's abit worse though.. Not just the inner side that's sprained, the top too. I cannot tell if it hurts more or less than the previous times because well it's just really painful... Seriously bad timing D:

I really really think I'm going to fail promos :/ there's not enough time left but no I will chiong chiong chiong.

On a happier note, survived 5 hours (?) of continuous Bio today!! They returned Bio Mock and I got 36/40 for mcq :0 was secretly quite happy ~~but the rest of the paper was a flop la~~ but whatever heh.

Going to miss double Math tomorrow D: the only important lesson we have on thursdays O.O

If I continue spraining my ankle somemore (TOUCHWOOD) and hopping around the house somemore my left calf will definitely turn bigger than my right D: Okay actually someone said that it already is. Disgusting D: D:

2009-09-21T00:52:00.005+08:00

Seriously need to slap people. They cannot even do formatting?!? Hello the interview transcripts have tables in different widths, different spacings, different headings, different font size, different boldings. And this is the copy after they "formatted" it. Organisation's 6 marks out of 24 I think we might get 0 if I really leave it alone..

ON A HAPPIER NOTE, cuzzie's backkkkkkkkk!!! Went to cousin's house today to have dinner, couldn't sleepover because of the current pw/promos situation :( But great to see her again and eat yummy food and I dapao-ed pasta heh :) She's going back to uk on the 12th so hopefully after promos I can go over to sleepover or sthg.. Or pop by once in a while to have lunch :D

Oh and I koped parmesan cheese from her house haha all I need are potatoes now! And I still crave soup.. drank lots of kimchi soup and chicken stock from the steamboat today though.

Random but my freezer has light, don't most freezers have light??

K shall go edit wr now.. Really running out of time :/

(edit)Forgot to mention this.. there's mooncake at home too!!! But I want nice snowskin flavoured mooncake :D heh that's a lot of food in one post. (/edit)

2009-09-12T23:05:00.002+08:00

Happy birthday Qinying ♥♥♥ miss you so much.

I CANNOT SEE EMOTICONS ON MSN OMG this is so sad.

I really don't want to see pw anymore it's like how I put in so much effort and maywong says it's a lot better than the previous draft but she pointed out so many more problems and there's so much more work to do I really get a headache just thinking about it. It sucks how the rest don't get headaches from pw because they don't fing do anything. I feel so emotional/angry/sad/irritated/feel like slapping them all the time when doing pw it is really unhealthy and it sucks. I really really don't want to see it anymore omg.

But thank you friends for giving me strength and encouraging me..

Went to eat ice cream buffet again today, finally, with Ben. Cause we tried looking for people to eat with yesterday to no avail so decided to give up and eat by ourselves today. It's quite scary how he just finishes his ice cream and then get up immediately and go get somemore. And the amount of waffles he ate, although the waffles were really really good (Y). Ate till we were shivering from all the ice cream cold haha. But guess I'm running out of the sugar high again...

After that went to Esplanade to watch exdee and Daniel with Simin. They're really quite amazing, I don't think I really listened properly and appreciated their music until today. Was glad we went :) Today was best day of sept holidays, also the only day I went out.

I think I'm going to fail promos and pw. (Y) Someone please cheer me up :(

2009-09-09T01:49:00.003+08:00

Finally finished editting the written report but I feel even more like shit than anything else, not happy not relieved nothing, I guess because it seems like I did almost everything but none of them fing appreciates it and I have no one to rant to now cause some friends are having fun, some friends have their own problems to deal with so cannot bother them.

I reformatted the whole wr, 3 out of 4 of the interview transcripts, all the flowcharts, tried to make everything more coherent, don't think any of them (minus Ivan, again) has read through half the report..

I will not cry over pw, one more week to endure.

2009-09-07T22:29:00.003+08:00

I WILL STUDY TOMORROW. Starbucks here I come!! No one will stop me!!! I have no idea what I've been doing the past 2 days (other than not studying, and pw) OMG SOMEONE KILL ME PLEASE.

600th post is so boring so I shall leave you Jay Chou lyrics :)

已经长大的约定那样珍惜
与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清你是友情
还是错过的爱情

No point thinking anymore anywayyy. But still love everything about the song. Jay Chou needs to lose the weight he gained for some movie!! He looks weird. K byebye!

2009-09-04T21:30:00.003+08:00

Had training today, rowed with Mummy (good row yes? !!! :)) then studied in school with Sihui, Junru (who left soon) and Kalya! Think I managed to understand Bio a bit better.. And I still cannot forget Kalya's jump+late screaming when I booed her in the toiler hahaha.

From some colorgenics website.. got tagged by Sihui on fb.

You are seeking an affectionate relationship, offering fulfilment and happiness. You are capable of powerful emotional enthusiasm. Deep down, you are a kind loving person, always helpful and willing to adapt yourself if necessary to realise the bond of affection that you desire. But you need the same consideration and understanding from others and it is this need that will sometimes hold you back... so let go, trust and you may pleasantly surprised at what happens.

In actual fact you are not willing to exert yourself in any way. You have that truly 'laid back' attitude and are unwilling to extend yourself or exert undue effort. You feel that to move forward - be it in your life style or in business relationships - would require more energy output than you are prepared to give at this time. You want to take life easy and your attitude is such that 'Enough is Enough'.

You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.

Whatever you strive to do, something always seems to be holding you back. There is no subterfuge in you. You are a clear thinker and all you demand from life, in a relationship, is a partner whom you can trust and with whom you can, together, develop a foundation of trust based on understanding. You are your own person and you demand freedom of thought to follow your own convictions. You have no interest in 'two-timing' and all you seek is sincerity and 'straight-dealing'.

You wish to be left in peace... no more conflict and no more differences of opinion. In fact you just don't want to be involved in arguments of any shape or form. All you want is for 'them' to get on with it - and to leave you alone.

It scarily mentions some things that has been on my mind recently.. :/ I wish they would all just disappear though. Ah wevvv.

2009-09-04T20:13:00.004+08:00

HAPPY LAST DAY OF THE TERM!

So the happy day started with DISC and Cassandra, so DISC^2? Hahaha. We were trying to decide what movie to watch during break time. And we came up with this magnificent flawless walkie-talkie plan to sneak into Final Destination 4 (M18!! D:) At cineleisure, we smartly discovered what theatre Final Destination was showing in (so our plan went to waste) and we got tickets to the movie playing next to Final Destination which happened to be G-Force. Thought everything was so successful until the woman at the theatre showed us to the theatre!!! And we tried (or rather Simin haha) to sneak nextdoor BUT THE WOMAN STATIONED HERSELF OUTSIDE D: D:

So in the end we had to watch G-Force, rated G. PLEASE DO NOT EVER WATCH IT. Best of all we missed like half of the show but I think if we watched it in full, might die. CAN'T BELIEVE THE THREE MUSKETEERS GOT INTO FINAL DESTINATION AND WE DIDN'T!!! Suay ttm.

Okay but I guess we enjoyed the movie even though it was not enjoyable, does that make sense?? Cause Daniel was high as usual and Ivan had this permanent what-the face, and Cheryl fell asleep, with her ipod! We definitely laughed the most, the rest of the theatre was so quiet I don't think they laughed at all!? Got to love the weird music choices and the cheesy ending omgxzx. Stupid guinea pigs!!! AND STUPID MOLE. "THE MOLE IS THE MOLE." It had pink beansprout-like things sprouting out of its nose. And Nicolas Cage voiced the mole?? AND DANIEL, AHHAHA THE MOLE LOOKALIKE, who wanted to watch G-Force the most at first!! HORRIBLE MOVIE. "OH WHAT HAVE I DONE???" "G-force topples Harry Potter at box office" OMG HOW SOMEONE TELL ME.

Cineleisure (y) though. Definitely a ploy to put a G movie and a M18 movie side by side. For more funny details go see Simin's blog hahaha.

After the horrible movie we had to do something feel-better-ish so went to eat Swensen's ice cream buffet! :D Was supposed to eat ice cream buffet with canoeists :( Anyway Ivan went to play ball and Marcus Lee came. We ate so much!!! Me and Simin especially, cause the rest had to leave after a while.. Try Sarsaparilla hahahahaha Sa(r)si flavour!! Tried like over 20 flavours (even durian eee) and had cake, tarts, fondue, waffles, brownies and lots of toppings! Sounds like a lot heh but for a buffet, think we didn't really eat a lot. The ice cream guy was super funny he kept laughing at us when we went to get more ice cream but being nice we said bye when we left hahaha. Ohh and we went to find the Renaldo's auntie hahahaha Simin thought I said we can go find Ronaldo as in the Christiano Ronaldo??? It was such a funny and fun day really LOL-ed and enjoyed myself :) :) :) Love you all!!

Ooh I feel like there's space in my stomach for dinner! Suddenly remembered myself saying if I puke during training tmr it'll be so colourful hahahaha. But of course I hope I don't o.o

Running out of sugar high...

2009-09-03T22:32:00.002+08:00

Had this paragraph ranting about pw but decided to delete it all. PEACE.

Finally collected my new contacts! It has been quite a torture.. Especially when running/doing pe with specs I don't know how other people do it O.O And according to the optician my specs are super outdated, like about 300 degrees below my short-sightedness. Mystery of why I hate to wear specs/why I get headaches so often solved, but more importantly it means I get to change my specs :D I've been wearing the same pair since sec1, and everyone thinks it's ugly so (ALTHOUGH I STILL STAND BY IT THAT IT'S UNIQUE).

Studied downstairs again on Tuesday, no Starbucks cause it was pouring and the file is very heavy.. :( The studying scene very randomly ended up like Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, just that I am not exactly very white and I was probably the most dwarfish one. Still nice to have company! Even though it was very noisy hah.

Bel said something like minus schooldays there's only about 9days left till promos :0 scary.

Have a lot of thoughts to pluck out of my head but pw comes first so byebye.

Hope tomorrow will turn out well and be a nice day :D ice cream buffet/movie!!!

2009-08-31T19:48:00.003+08:00

18 facebook friend requests and I really don't know who those people are!!! Feel bad to reject but too lazy to ask them who they are..

Anyway if Anberlin played Inevitable at Baybeats it means that Inevitable isn't such a lousy/loser song rightttt. Yes. See!!

Attempted to study today although I got really unfocused and started breaking bubbles on the phone but GOOD FIRST ATTEMPT. Starbucks tmr alone econs and bio!! D:

Mummy accidentally threw my contact lens away cause they were in the case but she didn't know and she poured it down the sink so bye bye contacts. Going to make new pair now I think. Should be about time to change contacts already I hopeee (otherwise mummy might make me pay).

How many days is it to promos???

2009-08-29T22:35:00.004+08:00

Finally got to see how Mr Goh looks like o.o And rowed with YanTing today did 4km then intervals, was quite good row :) and then k1. Got this huge huge painful blister on my feet, couldn't tell which was more painful, the blister or my ankle. POOR RIGHT FEET :( The blister started leaking when I got home but after I woke up from my nap it swelled again O.O but I nail clipped it haha how cool I thought it would be painful.

Did weights as usual then Mummy came with the cake so had to hide it but I was so scared the cake would melt or something so we celebrated when everyone (except me ais and eunice) finished sets. I am so sorry but I THINK THE CAKE IS VERY PRETTTY. I was so excited when I found a cake with two strawberry faces on it!! Like how it matched the pink cards and two birthdays hee.

Turned out the cake was still pretty frozen so we played captain's ball at macritchie first! Super funnnnn although it was apparent all of us have no ball sense/strategising skillz left D: The ball was slipping everywhere and everyone was running about screaming and I still remember Junru dragging me on the ground D: D: But it's a good substitute for running definitely hee hee :)

Then we had our hightea: chocolate bread plus cake! And Eunice surprise-smashed the small piece of cake we dropped on the floor on Bel and Delia damn awesomeeee she was so cool and calm!!

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY DINGDONG AND DELIA :) Hope you enjoyed everything ♥ Junru upload photos!!

Shall backtrack to Friday!

Was so frustrated during bio spa cause results were weird, so faked it anyway D: Then had lunch with Cass, Jane and Wenting, sorry for intruding.. After teacher's day celebration (Cheryl super high again) went back to Poiching with Casslyn! There were only..11/12 of us maximum I think quite sad but a lot of people had peedubz cca school etc so oh well. Mrs Neo is still the same though :) Can't say the same about the school.. more weird murals, plants and a new sports block that looks taller/bigger than the school??

After that we walked back to Tampines one. And yes Hongkai rubbed it in again I THOUGHT I'VE ALREADY PROVED TO HIM MANY MANY TIMES THAT I CAN STAND WALKING FOR VERY LONG. Went to Carl's Junior but I didn't eat cause I already ate fastfood for lunch so felt quite sick/guilty. Then we went to the rooftop to hang out. Watched siyuan and his confusing magic tricks and shared stupid jokes and played silly games (that reminded me of og o.o). At some point it was boring and at some point everyone were in different conversations but still was nice catching up. "Canoe talk again!" -then basketball talk starts- "I think I prefer hearing about canoe talk." "Common topic!!!" K don't think that made sense but I thought it was quite funny. No one believes that I am buffer though grr D: But kind of realised that I really miss 6A very much and it never fails to amaze me how we can all still click and talk no matter what. I've known some of them for about 10 years already that's such a long long time!! End of year gathering alrighttt.

And sorry Simin/Daniel I couldn't make it for Baybeats :( :( ice cream buffet still on right please please!

Love 6A and the team and front row people ♥♥♥

Shall not emo on this nice post.. bye ♥

(edit)Suddenly remembered what Jeremy said, "canoeing is a very honest sport", then something about how much you put in is how much you get out of it haha. It was nice talking to you again, even if it was mostly about canoeing, cause we never ever have time to talk.(/edit)

2009-08-24T22:19:00.003+08:00

We labelled our paddles today!! :D Mine says Jo with a smiley face now. Should have written Jolyn but lesser letters less difficult to screw up writing it heh. My smiley is on Junru's paddle too! Am aiming to spread the smiley on more paddles hahaha.

I am getting more and more chui, the funny word that everyone seems to be using now, reminds me of chuiying haha. Only ran 8 rounds today morning in about 17/18minutes hmm. Got to row sji's ak k1 during water training, the super super gorgeous turqoise one! Cause I ended school late and the guys koped boats that the girls took out. Another honour and quite an experience.. I know I'm not stable and all but I really prefer rowing k1 sometimes.

Baybeats is on Friday and so is 6A gathering!! This is such a huge dilemma. Never really missed a single 6A gathering before and well as the years pass 6A gatherings are more and more rare.. I'll always think it'll be the last gathering we'll ever have. But promised to go Baybeats and support Daniel with Simin and Cheryl already! Especially since XD was so accommodating on rpa. And I rsvp-ed attending on fb already. And what if because of this we don't eat ice cream buffet??? DISC vs 6A D: D: D:

Have a few more days to decide.. Why must everything be on Fridayyyy. You should see Friday in my notebook, it is very colourful o.o

2009-08-22T22:04:00.002+08:00

THANK YOU IVAN FOR HELPING WITH INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT. Otherwise I'll have to do all 1hour and 20 minutes plus plus worth of interview transcripts all by myself. KILL THE REST OF YOU!!! (But Ivan transcribes with all the singlish etc etc ahhhhh.) Hate peedubs.

11:14 with susu in the k2 today! Best ever with anyone I think and it was quite smooth although susu had a lot of strength left cause I wasn't going fast enough haha. Then rowed with Junru and we had an unknown timing :/ So sorry I was impatient with you dear hope we get to row again so I can atone for my mistakes :( Then I got into the front seat of the k4 again with bel yanting and susu. The k4 feels quite different/weird actually.. And jiaolian said I have to raise my paddle higher, up my frequency and have more strength to do so etc.. Oh wellz. Rowed a total of (8+8+2) 20km though, longest ever. And I got all sorts of painful blisters on my feet again D:

After water we did weights and I broke down again.. :/ I guess it was because the weights were increased when we haven't really done them since h1n1 and it was super bad for me. I didn't feel like I was aching/used any muscles/wtv and I felt so useless and weak and guess it was counter-productive too, got really frustrated with myself.. Don't really make sense but thank you dears for encouraging me and everything (L).

Have to be stronger stronger stronger physically and mentally.

2009-08-20T22:47:00.003+08:00

Okay I guess the previous post wasn't that funny >:B but it still is funny to me. Whateverrr.

Yesterday's water training was probably the coolest training yet!! Rowed blackie with Bel and we attempted twice to take timing but capped :( But it was still a really cool feeling on blackie! (And by rowing with Bel, I've rowed with everyone in the team before now, success!) Then jiaolian took out a k4!! And we all got a try on it :D Rowed in front with Delia, Si Hui, Ais and then Junru. We capped, sadly, and it was a super funny process with the whole team together trying to save the 4 of us back into our k4.

Rowed with Amanda today the whole day! It rained on us and the waves/wind were insane at a point but was still quite a decent row, love you dear :) We've been running/gyming together after school on thursdays for a few weeks and today we got to row together :D Thursday is now officially our day!

Was supposed to sound a lot more excited, I really was very excited even after training yesterday, but oh wellz moodswing again. Yesterday's training will probably never reoccur :/ so shall treasure the moment (!!!).

I wish you would talk to me normally again. It's so difficult to guess what you're thinking. I'm tired of trying already, and hearing other people's rubbish. I don't even know why we aren't talking!

Ahh I missed 11:11. Have to do 100 pushups and crunches as homework now..

I'll go sit on the massage chair first D:

2009-08-18T23:26:00.008+08:00

I AM QUITE AMUSED BY MYSELF SORRY HAHAHAHAHA.

Couldn't help it after looking at the very obvious tanline and people laughing at it, and especially after I found this photo during nationals that I could more or less fit in the photo!! ;o ;o ;o Shit I feel so lame!!! Hope this brightens up your day everyone D:

[edit] Okay Junru doesn't find this funny :( [/edit]

2009-08-18T21:07:00.003+08:00

Oh let's go back to the start.

Had Chem spa today, and house comm interview. Anyway o'team list came up and didn't get in D: None of us got in hmm.

I have no mood to do anything at allzzzz.

Kind of broke down during team talk yesterday after gym training when we started talking about Alexys leaving and it was my turn to comment. I really tried to be brave, was preparing myself for it, but I started choking on my words and tearing around the eyes.. so didn't get to say everything I wanted to. But I really really felt like I had something to express though I can't remember it now..

Speaking of gym training, it has left me with expanded arms again ho. I am still inching towards 40kg..... arrr.

Funniest remark of the day! "What is Si Min's chinese name?" -pause- "Oh yeah it's Si Min!!!" Blockhead wins (y).

RPA with Rachel :) Thank you again it was really fun :)

2009-08-16T17:17:00.003+08:00

SURVIVED IT ALL!!!

Managed to do my monday run on thursday!(cause swopped timetables) Kind of ran with Elaine cause we just happened to be running side by side and just continued that way, her pace is (Y) very fast and steady! Really needed that destress. Then the day passed... Had first kind-of-official gym training with the team and the instructor showed us machines we could use instead of just weights. Scary though, cause now I can't get away with lifting my light self when doing normal pt hmm. Ben and friends were gyming too and did some kneeling thing on the gym ball which looks so funnn. I will master that someday!

So friday I almost felt like dying already, after staying up 2 nights to do EOM. But May Wong was quite satisfied with EOM so yay!

Saturday had training in the morning. Jiaolian paired me and Eunice up and he said something about letting us pair for a while. We did 11:38 I thinkk, which is pretty good actually. It feels quite smooth rowing with Eunice, but we hardly talk while rowing :/ but I've got to stop picking on people I guess.

After training we bathed at macritchie! It's quite fun to soap hair in the open shower in front of each other hahaha. Plus the inside shower really sucks. That side of macritchie's really pretty now! Ate pastamania with Kalya (I MISS PASTA!) and then slowly snailed back to school and slept until rehearsal time.

Didn't really feel like I walked well during the real thing though :( Couldn't really connect with the slow dark music and give intense/focused look and stockings+loose heels=killer. Oh wellzzz. But thank you Esther for helping me do my hair! And Ilisa for doing my eyes haha, I was spamming eyeliner cause my eyelids had so many layers everytime I open my eyes cannot see any eyeliner even though it was a really thick layer already! If I get to walk for Rproj again I want to do Bubblegum again!! And in the really cute dress Bobo let me tried on D: And and I promise I'll walk better too heh. Thanks rachel for letting me show your design :)

Thanks Daniel and friends too for accompanying/entertaining me during the very boring moments! Like friday afternoon and some time during rehearsal, and yesterday's dessert before mummy and daddy came to fetch me. Otherwise I would really be some loner. But no thank you for laughing at me and my hair arrgh.

Kay just felt like narrating my boring past few days spent in Bishan/school mostly. I was in Bishan from 7am to 10pm yesterday omg. Shall start doing work soon, weekend's almost gone :/

2009-08-12T22:13:00.002+08:00

Was about to post on today's super long day and training but oh wellz just received a message minutes ago that my eom consultation's on friday. And there was training today and training tmr. (And friday and saturday too.) FML.

And I'm helping to do rpa dinner too so there's rehearsal on friday and saturday sigh FML FML FML IT'S GOING TO BE A BUSY FEW DAYS :( K I will hang in there!!

Really didn't think I deserved it today though. :/ Sigh.

2009-08-11T20:37:00.002+08:00

I wish I could stop feeling all this anger sometimes, it really sucks. And I wish I would stop missing people whose lifes no longer include me. It can be so sudden sometimes, how people come into and leave your life, just like that.

But to the great people I have now, thank you ♥♥♥. And thank you for talking to me yesterday qy :) It means a lot, I really miss you! Hope we'll meet up in sept :)

Friday night beneath the stars
In a field behind your yard
You and I are painting pictures in the sky

And sometimes we don't say a thing
Just listen to the crickets sing
Everything I need is right here by my side

I know things can never be so simple/sweet/wtv but I can dream right! Cannot remember how it feels like to be in love anymore.. Taylor Swift's songs can all be so repetitive, not just in melody but lyrics too, but they still always make me feel better, somehow.

3/24 for wr is ggttmxx! D: And there's so much more to do.. sigh. It's like they want me to earn As for them, then who's going to get As for me??

2009-08-09T22:56:00.006+08:00

Happy national day! Haven't made use of the long weekend to study at all oops.

Facebook's failing me, cannot upload overdue plus Nudge photos :(

Went for Nudge yesterday with Junru, Melissa and Jiayan! I guess we kind of expected more, more people more activities etc but still managed to have fun! (11:11 now!!!) Good job Daniel! Anyway, we left early to shop at vivo and NUM was having 50% discount but couldn't find the apple green slim havaianas I wanted so ohwellz, my old pair of slipper's rotting. Oh yes JUNZ you owe me money for your slippers!!!

Oh and had training yesterday morning too which has left me in so much pain!! Cannot stand up straight and cannot straighten my arms D: Alexys came for training to see jiaolian though and we managed to row and do one timing (L). Then jiaolian made all of us take a second consecutive timing, killerrr.

Some rowing advices from yesterday. "You need to twist more, you are still using your arms, still scared to row, don't lean to reach forward, twist your body without leaning to propel your arms forward then you won't feel unstable" and "2k should just push the first part and let yourself die" and do planks to get stablility fast but planks are dangerous cause people will fart uncontrollable??? From the pros, haha.

Managed to talk about it only for a short while but still felt a little better after that so thank you. Wish some other people were more sensitive though but never mind.

Facebook worked in the end yay. Here're some photos anyway, don't have the photos with Simin/Jass and Yuting haha.

K I will be productive tmr!! Have to be :(

(edit) forgot to mention that Felicia called me "Michael Jackson whose bleaching failed" and SOMETHING ELSE CAN'T REMEMBER. Will do something/hide my tanlines. But no I am supposed to embrace them!! Cannot decide :( (/edit)

2009-08-07T20:48:00.003+08:00

Alexys is quitting canoeing :( Can say it now since she has told most of the team. I'll really miss you my partner :( Muddy, jiaolian and the seniors want us, me especially, to persuade her to stay but think she is pretty much set on quitting already so. We've spent most of the june holidays rowing together, preparing for NCC, and I think we really made such a good pair it'll be sad for her to leave really. But don't want her to regret anything in this short jc life too like what Bel said. I still remember when we pb-ed and started hugging and jumping around the pontoon, and once when I commented that she was heavy (cause she wasn't rowing) and she started splashing water at me from the back and we could splash water at each other without capping haha. And when I felt bad/guilty because Sihui and Alexys were partners before. Really will miss you dear but I know you'll be happier.

Feel like talking to * about this most somehow, don't know why.

I think it's time for a crying session! What with stupid pw, alexys quitting, bad k2 rows and school etc. Keep having these urges to cry but I keep holding it back but it just gets worse.

I miss being happy/in love/something like that, kind of stupid I guess but yes, oh well bye!

2009-08-07T01:10:00.006+08:00

Happy birthday Jiayan, Tiffany, Penny (yesterday/a few hours ago), YiLin and Jasslyn! :) :) :)

Last night was pretty horrible but it's all over already, kind of. Until we start doing group eom and probably redo the wr again, ahhh.

Today turned out alright despite being sleep deprived. Ridged chips (OKAY I WILL CUT DOWN ON CHIPS SOON) + PE saved the day, though Simin and I ended up sleeping in an empty classroom until it was time for red parade haha.

Red parade was quite fun! Good job Daniel, Dong, Chris, Nicole and whoever else performed/organised haha. Cheryl was freaking high hahaha. I want to win girl with nicest biceps!! The vouchers sounded nice, and sadly, I really think my biceps were bigger than those people :( And the dancers performed parts from so you think you can dance kameron and lacey's comtemporary!! So beautiful, and cheng chia (the guy with sexist voice hahaha) realised too yay hi5!

After Red parade went out with Jiayan and Junru to celebrate Jiayan's birthday! :) She had such huge presents to lug along hahaha santa claus. Was kind of random but still lots lots fun! We took such ridiculous photos. But glad you liked the icecream cake hee, much love! I want to go to Ion again!! Or orchard in general. Orchard seems so far now D:

The most beautiful moment ever :) But no more prison break forever!

Time to catch up on sleep goodnight!

2009-08-04T23:34:00.002+08:00

Everyone in the group has gone to sleep. None of our chapters (except chapter one) are complete, we don't have figures/flowcharts, we haven't started on chapter five actually, we haven't done citations, we don't even have a proper bibliography, well actually we haven't even thought out our lessons learnt and strategies. And wr draft's due thursday and everyone has CCA tomorrow till late. All of that doesn't seem to be a problem for the group though.

I really really wanted to just do everything by myself but no one sends me what they've done before they decide to go to sleep. I don't know why Maywong thinks our group's doing fine.

Why am I awake. I should just sleep too. Maybe I won't even get to sleep tomorrow night. I feel so helpless, I give up really.

Promised myself not to post until I had something happy to talk about, oh wellz.

2009-07-31T23:12:00.001+08:00

Hi friends I miss you all a lot. I don't think you'd know how much and I don't know if I've been able to express it to you, but I really miss you. I miss laughing out loud with you, I miss shopping with you, I miss sharing thoughts with you, I miss you making fun of me, I miss being able to talk to you. I guess when they said JC could be a new beginning they forgot to mention that some doors close too.

I wish the ankle would stop hurting already. Funny how it doesn't hurt when I run but hurts at all sorts of weird times.

It's August tomorrow already. Scary how time flies.. I shall buy files and clear the mess on the table this month. Okay or maybe I should do that by tmr or something. But there's saturday training tmr! :)

Your faith walks on broken glass. I wish I could convince myself I've ridden me of you. I will get over it I am very determined!!

Ah stupz.

2009-07-30T23:11:00.002+08:00

1 hour of interviews to transcribe!!! D: And there's another interview tomorrow D: D: But I guess in some ways the interviews have been most interesting/insightful, although it still feels like our group's pretty lost. But it still sucks to have to transcribe soft echo-y interviews and interviews where you have two interviewees talking at the same time too. Oh well.

Am aching all over from training yesterday, very painful but I kind of feel more useful again. Regular training's starting soon! And there are bathing facilities at Macritchie now haha how cool. OOH we can bathe after training and go to thomson to eat!!

There's Final Destination 4 coming out in cinemas! It totally reminded me of 6A cause we watched it at Hk's house really long ago, I think.

K pointless post. Transcribed about 10minutes :( Byebye.

2009-07-21T20:45:00.003+08:00

I am sooooooo angry @#%!&!&^#$@!*&@!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But thankfully math tutorial was hilarious and saved the day, otherwise I'd probably have cried in school which would have been stupid. Thanks Simin, for the entertainment with the Tee haha and listening to me rant.

I HOPE ALL OF YOU WAKE UP SOON. Seriously.

I've never been this pissed off in a long time.

2009-07-20T20:50:00.005+08:00

I should stop buying spag tops because I cannot even wear them with my hideous tanline. But it's selling everywhere!! And it gives me a great excuse to go hunting for a mini cardigan or something haha.

Went to shop with Junru on Saturday at Vivo and we couldn't finish shopping! We didn't even have time to take a break and eat, and we ended up eating doughnuts while shopping hah. Met Bel too hee! Mummy bought me this pretty dryfit Adidas cap (BUT IT'S PINK :() and gloves (PINK TOO). I feel quite grossed out by the number of pink things I have.

Then Sunday went to watch Harry Potter! Which was quite a big disappointment, like how Lavander Brown keeps popping out, so angry!! But oh wells it's Harry Potter.

And today was the funniest day we've everrrr had in class, even though the rest of the class probably thought we were bonkers. Last time I laughed this hard was maybe half a year ago.. Don't know how Simin's going to face the Tee tomorrow though hahaha.

Training starts on Wednesday! Was quite excited about it but my fitness level has really dropped :( ~~Like how I puked after running for not very long,~~ but I guess I wasn't feeling that well in the first place. Shall aim to be fit again soon, sigh.

Some things/people don't change haha. But I still feel like I've lost so much this year. Lots of work to do, bye!

2009-07-10T23:03:00.004+08:00

People are people and sometimes we change our minds,
But it's killing me to see you go after all this time.

You changed your mind and I should have known earlier.

Passed chemistry by the bare minimum after getting one more mark. But Math and Bio were alright. Econs is a fail for sure so. I guess I could have done better for the CTs if I didn't start slacking off but never mind! Promos next. There's more to learn, more to remember, PW etc to come D:

Xinyuan and Yunhan got me all these Nivea lotions, whitening milk repair for my dark skin and some hand lotion for my hard hands I guess :( But thanks you two, much love!

Aunties (Qitian and Goujun) came over on Tuesday to school just to surprise me with a oreo cheesecake they baked it was really really very sweet and totally cute of them!!! And the long way they went around planning it like getting my timetable, talking information out of me etc etc, I took so long to find out how they put it all together! Love you too!!

Oh ho, today is actually one month after my birthday haha. I watched 3 movies within the month! State of Play, Transformers and Ghost of girlfriends past. Haven't watched that much in a long time, I think I really like watching movies. There's Harry Potter next week! :D

We've had sets and runs to do by ourselves this week and it's not fun at all doing sets by yourself at home. I miss teammates! Stupid h1n1.

Helping Xinwei to model for some charity show tomorrow, her design's quite nice but abit big but hopefully I don't embarrass myself tomorrow hm. Turn on the ball of your feet :)

Can I change my mind too? I still cannot let go.

2009-07-02T22:47:00.002+08:00

Happy belated Joellyn (yesterday)! :D had fun at your birthday dinner so thank you :) And Ben, Dong, and Daniel too (wednesday)!

CTs are over :) Pretty much screwed them up, common tests. But I guess, in the sickest way, I've had fun studying at Starbucks whether alone or not, and running into people like Ashley and Jon there haha. But I'm abstaining from Starbucks!! For a while. And then there was one attempt to study at the jail-like library. And with a drunk person asking me about stochiometry o.o And the final 4 nights/eves of the papers were spent at Macs downstairs mugging with Ivan and Ken. With occasional long bursts of laughs, mostly at Ivan hahaha. Then in the morning before the paper plus Ruijie we'll eat breakfast and take 59 to school, and meet Cheryl or Joyce or other rj people on the bus haha it was quite fun. Tampines people ftw :D :D I've never had friends to study with before so it was really different but good :)

I wish I could forget some things/people but there's always this thing at the back of your head which pulls them all back, every time. But I have to or I won't move on. Then I don't really know if I do want to move on. And it's not even just about how I screwed up it's also about how I miss it.

Ahhh whatever. On a lighter note, OKAY NOT REALLY. I am about to jump onto the topic of me becoming very dark :( :( I am darker than felicia!! And weirong and a lot a lot of people omgz. AND I LOOK LIKE SOME BROWN SHIT IN PHOTOS. Especially with flash. I will do something about it ugh.

Training's postponed indefinitely. Quite weird to think about how school will be like next week.

2009-06-26T21:31:00.002+08:00

dance under the: hahha okay lah
jolyn evolve from chopstick to chopstickS
jolyn: why?
dance under the: double the size but still very skinny
hahahhaa
jolyn: HAHAHAHA.

Cracked me up haha but I'm still associated with sticks >:(

NCC was on saturday! We went to semis (okay straight semis actually) and got last hahah. But yes ten bucks for two rows is quite worth it, and we pb again :) :) Love you Alexys!

I think I'm starting to get the feeling of pulling water! :) But there are still bad rows, especially since jiaolian wants us to row k1 now.

I thought I have been mugging quite a lot and was quite happy with myself until I heard about someone's overnight mugging O.O Only a week left till CTs are over! I am officially overcaffeinated from starbucks. No more starbucks for me!! Until maybe promos, sigh.

I just saw the weirdest cadbury commercial ever. Bye!

2009-06-12T23:57:00.004+08:00

Happy birthday Yuxiang and happy belated Jeremy and belated belated (twin) Amanda!! :)

My birthday was going to turn out quite sucky until great people saved the day :)

Most of the girls weren't free after training so we ended up eating lunch in school and postponing celebrations, though I don't think there will be one hahaha. But we had a birthday hug! And me and Amanda exerted birthday power on the k2 :D And the rest very luckily forgot to cap us thanks to the tiring 2k timings :D

After that Junru, Amanda, Sihui and I had icecream at Swensen's which was (y)(y)(y)! Went to watch State of Play with some of the guys (who mostly went for free tix I think haha) and Junru, because the other movies were either late or had small theatres (??). We bought the largest popcorn combo and it was the size of a bucket I couldn't stop laughing when I saw it. Thought we wouldn't finish even half of it but obviously I underestimated canoeists' appetites haha.

After the movie Weiyang, Ben, Yida and Weirong surprised me with a cake which was very very sweet. Literally and figuratively hahaha. It was really quite nice and touching. So thank you all (Junru, Amanda, Sihui, Weirong, Weekuang, Yingzhe, Ben, Weiyang, Yida, JPK who happened to be studying at lido) for spending my lousy birthday with me and making it better :) :)

Still haven't had proper dinner with my family or go out with favourite four :(

Anyway celebrated with Xinyan, Xinyuan and Qinyan too! They failed to surprise me cause I was the earliest hahaha. But we ate at Chicago's steakhouse then the funny staff there performed magic tricks for us. He correctly picked out a card that we chose, burnt it, lifted up his shirt and the card number was written on his stomach :0 :0 :0 then there was another one when he took the correct card out of his mouth haha quite cute.

Then we went kboxing! After such a long long time. They have nicer english songs now haha. And I didn't pick pages of Jay Chou songs this time :) Only one page. Self-control hee. Really enjoyed fooling around with the three of them and catching uppp :D :D And they got me this yummy Mrs Field's brownie cake which said 'Jolyn's Sexy Seventeenth' too hahaha. Photos soon! BFF! :)

Thank you everyone else for messaging, wishing me in school, or on fb etc etc it's very nice :) :)

Ohh and thank you Junru for the very nice card!!! There's this photo of my stupid face right in front and of us and this ridiculous photo of me planking with Wr's bag inside, super cuteee. And the happy birthday shades too hahaha even cuter. My lovely cousins plus mummy got me a new wallet too! And there's the pink bottle from Siyuan too hahaha. Thanksss.

Love all of you! ♥♥♥

11:22 K2 with Alexys!! We pb-ed on friday and again at the end of yesterday! :D

Need to cut my hair soon! And Ivan's coming back tmr yayyy.

2009-06-08T22:08:00.005+08:00

But I didn't know at fifteen.

I need to getoveritgetoverit I will I will I will.

Rowed ak k2 with Alexys today the whole day it was reallyyy cool :) :)

Saturday went to buy presents, seventeen items :D for auntie with auntie. It was so much fun! Visiting hwach, brainstorming on a ripped soup cup insulator, winding through daiso and carrefour and other shops, and digressing to buy stupid things for ourselves hahaha. It zapped so much of my energy I really was very tired/stoned near the end.

Went shopping with mummy too and we ended up buying everything I eyed when I went shopping with Junru and Sihui hahaha. And more actually! Mummy was in such a good mood :0

Time to have fun hopefully! Can't wait to go out with all my favourite people :)

2009-06-05T21:11:00.002+08:00

I'm attempting to salvage my life by dating qinyan xinyuan fangyi xinyan etc :)

My right arm feels funny and I don't know why. Ankle hurting again after attempting (and failing) to run the Northern Trail. Ahh I really really want to run again.

Today is the first day without Ivan for pw and I feel the effects already, because
1) I've not seen any other members online for daysss.
2) SCDF just slapped us in the face and I don't know whether/what to reply.
3) Group leader is useless sorry.
4) I want/have to do work but I don't have the soft copies.
5) There is a deadline set today, and I don't know what to do about it.
HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE 12 DAYS!

Training so far has been alright. It's pretty cool to be the only school rowing in the morning (cause the rest train in the afternoon) :) And I guess there'll always be days with bad rows and days with good rows, but hopefully the bad rows get progressively better, if that makes sense. Then there are those times when I feel really pit bottom about training and my (lack of) progress, but I also realised that I cannot give up on myself, even if some have given up on me, and especially because there are still others who haven't :) Rowing with Alexys k2 100m for NCC haha we'll probably get owned ttm but I think it'll be fun.

I attempted to study alone in Starbucks today. Even though I only stayed for about 2 hours and found out I forgot to bring foolscap and couldn't hold my pee so left in the end, I thought it was a good try D: Will try again soon!

Going out with auntie tmr after training, 'dripping wet also don't care', to buy overdue presents! :D

2009-06-04T18:28:00.003+08:00

Somewhere between all our laughs, long talks, stupid little fights and all our jokes, I fell in love.

Read an article about holiday love and I guess it was true about holiday love never lasting, or holiday friendship too for that matter I guess.

I don't know what to do on my birthday >:( other than going for training in the morning D:

And Ivan is flying off tomorrow!! :( Doing pw every night is sick enough, doing pw every night alone is going to be worse :( :(

Og outing yesterday to celebrate birthdays turned into a Shopping-with/for-Zhiming trip. I don't think I've shopped with such a large group (okay not really large, but large for shopping) in a long time haha. But the outcomes were good, very good hee :D I want to shop somemore somemore!

Revival turned out quite impressive, it wasn't as bad as everyone made it out to be. Great job everyone :) :)

2009-05-30T21:30:00.004+08:00

It's the june holidays!!! Term 2 was so packed but went by so fast. Trainings are going to be crazy amidst mugging for the CTs but hopefully there'll be time to catch up with people, have gatherings etc :)

Going for Rproject tmr with Junru and Yanting :D I have to try to find clothes that are presentable and still hide my hideous jersey tanlines, they are really scary.

I can't stand it anymore I miss _ very much :( I keep rereading and rereading our message history and other stuff. In some sense I guess it's good that there's not a lot left for me to read. I don't like being stuck in the past, years ago and months ago. We used to have so much fun talking rubbish. You're the most irritating person I know but then there were all the times you were so nice and sweet. We were so close then I broke it all up but we became good friends but now there's nothing, you're enjoying life and I miss talking to you but I know you don't. I wish we would talk on and on again.

There are so many more people I miss but _'s still the same, never changed, and we'll just rattle and quarrel forever. Now that we don't I feel empty gah.

I think this moodswing sparked off after crying when watching a crappy movie in the school library.

K I WILL GO PLAY POKEMON CRYSTAL OR SOMETHING :(

2009-05-16T21:43:00.003+08:00

Thanks to facebook I realise that there are many birthdays today :0

I took a nap and everything but I still can't get myself to start workkk. There's so much to do and so little time and just look at me stoning now.

I need money-food management lessons I'm spending so much!! But but but I've put on weight :) Hopefully muscle mass.. I'm about 1kg away from 40kg :) :) :)

Went with Qinyan Yanling Jiayan Sihui Yanting and Aiswarya to Dance night :D it was pretty awesome.

I tried to clear my mind, but when some things clear others come in, and some just refuse to go away.

I really wish I could be stronger, mentally and physically.

I feel like I've lost friends and I miss them but they don't care anyway.

And if it's a hero you want I can save you. Just stay here. ♥

I can't believe I'm still hooked onto this song after a year hahaha I'll marry anyone who tells me that.

Ah what a rubbish post. K start work >:|

2009-05-02T22:41:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday Qitian! :)

I wanted to surprise her with a card today at Macritchie (OKAY BECAUSE I FORGOT TO WISH HER ON FRIDAY :( ) but turns out she didn't have training :( :( I feel very guilty now.

I am blogging more frequently now, which is not a very good thing.. But hardly anyone reads this anymore so I guess that makes it better hah.

Today's row was probably the most productive one in ages. I finally found it back, kind of. But I have this horrible right tilt and everything. After-training sets were really gg but great job everyone :D I have more bruises again but they're not that bad I think.. It's very funny how haemoglobin, phagocytosis and the likes of it pop out when I googled bruises, and the best part is it makes someee sense! :D

I remember Wednesday was a really pit-bottom-selfworthless-day, even though I can't remember why. Or maybe I'm just hiding it in the tiniest corner of my mind. I guess it is sick that people derive pleasure from putting me down but it would be sicker if I cared so I shall not.

I need to think and start clearing my mind!!!

I was on the verge of deleting this post until Junru said the-most-canoeist-thing-ever online.

jolyn says:
zang
=[>>>>> junru says:
eyebrows doing IPU
=[>>>>> junru says:
hahaha
jolyn says:
OMGXZX.
=[>>>>> junru says:
really what
=[>>>>> junru says:
muddy doing IPU
=[>>>>> junru says:
hahah

You have to see my 'zang' emoticon to fully appreciate this comment which I find very very funny hahahaha.

Okay pi here I come.

2009-04-28T21:04:00.002+08:00

I think I might get a gold for napfa! :D My sbj's improved by leaps and bounds (teehee how appropriate) after learning Ms Pang's technique and practising with Simin and Junru :) :)

PI got rejected so I've to start all over again and the final draft's due next week, good luck to me :(

I miss having a life and having friends. I can't remember the last time I went shopping and the last time I enjoyed eating a meal with good company. And I miss you so much. I miss being able to talk and laugh out loud with you over everything, when now we only make small talk and nothing else. I miss talking to you too, saying/doing stupid rubbish things and spoiling Gossip Girl for each other. But now you're always so busy, and all we ever talk about is canoeing now. Oh well.

Okay I have the perfect photos to cheer me/you up hahaha.

2009-04-22T22:48:00.003+08:00

I can't help but post about canoeing again hah.

Today's water training was really really disppointing. I couldn't row in the k1. I realise it's been 2 months and 1 day exactly since the last time I took it, but that is no excuse. And the choppy waters too. And the high seat or whatever. I felt so useless and clumsy.

But thank you teammates, muddy, JN, who cheered me up :) I will and must work even harder. I will and must work even even harder during land trainings too, cause I am still not strong enough. Sigh.

Hmm. On a much much brighter note, during napfa 2.4 I managed to sub-12!! :D I guess 11.50 is only 10 seconds sub-12 but it's my best timing ever so :) And I missed free cone day! Poof.

Ups and downs, ups and downs. Thanks to nationals, I have more than 50 new photos on facebook now. Most of which are really very stupid haha.

Okay mug math, goodnight!

2009-04-20T21:54:00.002+08:00

It's been almost a month since I posted hmm.. Nationals are over already, and so is our one-star kayaking course and canoeing camp and ora! I think everything's been pretty crazy for everyone, especially the seniors of course, but we're done with everything, so thumbs up and great job to us all yay :D

Now we just have to endure trainings D: But on the bright side, there are 2 water trainings per week now! :)

Cai Xiao and Joellyn officially quit, independently. I'll really miss both of them, Joellyn especially. We had three little but very precious k2 sessions together :( And we were really motivated to train hard so that we could row well together. I remember the first time we capped (we actually rowed out of the pontoon a little!) it was because there was an ant crawling on my face and I was trying to flick it off. After we capped it was still on my face and Joellyn flicked it off for me while we laughed hysterically. It's like how some people describe it, we cap with a scream and come out of the water laughing haha. And there was the time when we tried to chase Weiyang on his ak o.O And when it was introduction we would go "I am Jolyn", "I am Joellyn"! And the other time when we were almost capping but I braced but Joellyn jumped into the water anyway and she said she could see me still in the boat when she capped hahaha.

We really improved a lot in three sessions! Like how we could almost cap but resist the capping, and row more than 30 consecutive strokes together! :) I will never forget the many memories we shared in such a short time :) :) Love you jo! And I really miss you during trainings! I really wish she didn't have to quit.

I shall go do homework now, and sleep early. Napfa 2.4 tomorrow + training = can die. Hopefully there'll be time to rush down for free cone day!

2009-03-21T23:51:00.006+08:00

I have to start doing and finishing homework soon, there's so much to do and complete! :( But updates first haha, even though no one ever reads this.

The March hols are proof of us sickos seriously hahaha. J1 canoeing girls self-training sounds sick but is actually really fun! :D And on Thursday me and Joellyn made improvements on our k2! Even though like most people commented that we capsized a lot but whatever! We are motivated to train harder :)

Oh and on Wednesday there was Bosses' Day. It was entertaining I guess, drunk and half-naked people doing funny things haha. Thank god really for Siyuan and Zhiming to talk to :/ Made some new friends but most of the people are still strangers hah. Sometimes I wish I was more stubborn then maybe I wouldn't have given in to the blackmail and pressure to join the whole thing. But never mind.

And thank you Shiyin dear for talking to me :) You always make me feel a lot a lot better, love! I almost typed all my angst etc here haha.

Us and the seniors!

Raffles Row plus jiao lian! With a lot of absentees I think haha.

The most random congregation ever! I was having lunch with Junru and Joellyn after training and tagged along to their CA meeting and Hansheng came along so in the end after the meeting, with Guiqi and Zhujie, all of us ended up walking around talking and taking neoprints (obviously haha). It was so random but very fun/funny :D

I just heard more bad things (thanks for telling me and trying to make me feel better haha). But I know that I shouldn't care about what others say because then that would only make me a very busy and worrisome person no more happier. So yes I will block it out, along with the other things and people I have to block out of my head. Goodnight!

2009-03-13T00:01:00.008+08:00

I haven't posted in agess! And my blog is pretty much dead haha.

Shall start with class camp then :D Class camp was 2 to 3 March and it was totally awesome! We played low elements and cooked smoked (aka burnt) noodles and night time was the funniest!
Almost all of us had to squeeze into one basha cause the other one got drenched when it rained and this bunch of us stayed up late to talk (HTHT haha!) and sing and look at the pretty stars! (: When we finally decided to sleep I kept getting slapped awake for no reason at like half-hour intervals or something, ugh you! Next day we had banana boat rowing and we totally owned the other class! We even played the squeeze-hand-murderer game in the sea, damn coooool :D 10S03B ftw (:

Next big thing which just happened was NJCC! :D NJCC was over the weekends and we had to help out, get food, support the seniors etc and it was all great work and great fun (: I think our batch really bonded quite a bit because of NJCC! And the seniors really did very well, and ding dong/dumbbel and mummy (Yan Ting) too! :D Nationals' in one month jiayou everyone!

In between NJCC I had to leave for theory exam, which was really bad don't ask, the end!

Yup and friday (school-declared holiday) I ended up at vivocity with HH06 to celebrate Leon's 18th birthday in the afternoon (: Was supposed to go for class outing and canoeing windbreaker thing and canoeing team dinner as well but everything kind of clashed and theory exam was top priority so. But HH06's amazing stoning ability is really really amazing! And how we food-hopped from Sushi Tei to Ben&Jerry's to Long John Silver etc :)

Speaking of which I really feel bad for missing out on the two class outings we've had so far :( but I still love 10S03B!

I have an urgh to type not-so-happy things so I shall stop here, bye!

(The watermelon steps's such a popular place for taking group photos hahaha.)